Arcadia
Turkey’.
    Hannah: The reviewer is obviously Hodge. ‘My friend
    Septimus Hodge who stood up and gave his best on behalf of
the Author.’
    Bernard: That’s the point. The Piccadilly ridiculed
both books.
    Hannah: (Pause.) Do the reviews read like Byron?
    Bernard: (Producing two photocopies from his case) They
read a damn sight more like Byron than Byron’s review of Wordsworth the
previous year. (Hannah glances over the photocopies.)
    Hannah: I see. Well, congratulations. Possibly. Two previously
unknown book reviews by the young Byron. Is that it? Bernard: No. Because of
the tapes, three documents survived undisturbed in the book.
    (He has been carefully opening a package produced from
his bag. He has the originals. He holds them carefully one by one.) ‘Sir—we
have a matter to settle. I wait on you in the gun room. E. Chater, Esq.’
    ‘My husband has sent to town for pistols. Deny what cannot
be proven—for Charity’s sake—1 keep my room this day.’ Unsigned.
    ‘Sidley Park, April nth 1809. Sir—1 call you a liar, a
lecher, a slanderer in the press and a thief of my honour. I wait upon your
arrangements for giving me satisfaction as a man and a poet. E. Chater, Esq.’
    (Pause.)
    Hannah: Superb. But inconclusive. The book had seven years
to find its way into Byron’s possession. It doesn’t connect Byron with Chater,
or with Sidley Park. Or with Hodge for that matter. Furthermore, there isn’t a
hint in Byron’s letters and this kind of scrape is the last thing he would have
kept quiet about.
    Bernard: Scrape?
    Hannah: He would have made a comic turn out of it.
    Bernard: Comic turn, fiddlesticks! (He pauses for
effect.) He killed Chater!
    Hannah: (A raspberry) Oh, really!
    Bernard: Chater was thirty-one years old. The author of two
books. Nothing more is heard from him after ‘Eros’. He disappears completely
after April 1809. And Byron—Byron had just published his satire, English
Bards and Scotch Reviewers, in March. He was just getting a name. Yet he
sailed for Lisbon as soon as he could find a ship, and stayed abroad for two
years. Hannah, this is fame. Somewhere in the Croom papers there will be something—
    Hannah: There isn’t, I’ve looked.
    Bernard: But you were looking for something else! It’s not going
to jump out at you like ‘Lord Byron remarked wittily at breakfast!’ Hannah:
Nevertheless his presence would be unlikely to have gone unremarked. But there
is nothing to suggest that Byron was here, and I don’t believe he ever was.
Bernard: All right, but let me have a look. Hannah: You’ll queer my pitch. Bernard:
Dear girl, I know how to handle myself-Hannah: And don’t call me dear girl. If
I find anything on
    Byron, or Chater, or Hodge, I’ll pass it on. Nightingale,
    Sussex.
    (Pause. She stands up.) Bernard: Thank you. I’m sorry
about that business with my name. Hannah: Don’t mention it ... Bernard: What
was Hodge’s college, by the way? Hannah: Trinity. Bernard: Trinity?
    Hannah: Yes. (She hesitates.) Yes. Byron’s old
college. Bernard: How old was Hodge? Hannah: I’d have to look it up but a year
or two older than
    Byron. Twenty-two ... Bernard: Contemporaries at Trinity? Hannah: (Wearily) Yes, Bernard, and no doubt they were both in the cricket
eleven when Harrow played Eton at Lords!
    (Bernard approaches her and stands close to her.) Bernard: (Evenly) Do you mean that Septimus Hodge was at school with Byron? Hannah: (Falters slightly) Yes ... he must have been ... as a matter of fact.
Bernard: Well, you silly cow.
    (With a large gesture of pure happiness, Bernard throws
his arms around Hannah and gives her a great smacking kiss on the cheek. CHLOE enters to witness the end of this.) chloE: Oh—erm ... I
thought I’d bring it to you.
    (She is carrying a small tray with two mugs on it.) Bernard:
I have to go and see about my car. Hannah: Going to hide it?
    Bernard: Hide it? I’m going to sell it! Is there a pub I can
put up at in the village?
    (He turns back to

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