Read Apt [Running to Love 6] (Siren Publishing Classic) for Free Online

it. He felt nauseated with shame and turned away to go and sit on the couch. He put his head in his hands and heard Max shut the door. Dave thought he’d left, but then the leather chair squeaked as Max sat down. Okay, then. Confession time .
    “The short version? I joined the military because I wanted routine and predictability. My house was chaos twenty-four-seven with six kids and parents who opened their doors to the world. ’Stair was already signed up and deployed, and it was a coincidence that we were eventually stationed together. I didn’t much like being told what to do, but that was ’cause some of our officers didn’t know their shit. I soon figured out who did though and trusted them. I used my own judgment with the others. When you’re out on patrol, you gotta trust yourself and your buddies, but most of all be in control.
    “Afghanistan changed all of that. There was no control, no real routine, and no predictability. That country has never been conquered since the beginning of time, and some of the best armies in the world have tried. We had the Brits and the Canadians with us, all good fighters, and it was like a gong show. You never knew who your enemy was because the faces changed from day to day. Kids, old folks, women. You hardly saw the real fighters, the men, the ones we were supposed to get.
    “Alistair and I were assigned to a ghost unit, just six guys who went out on forays and cleaned up little pockets of insurgents as we found them. Our unit was clean, miraculously. No sick fucks. No interest in anything other than what we were supposed to do. But there were lots of guys who liked to mess with the locals and hurt people. I’m not going to tell you about that because Meredith won’t want me retraumatized or you to have that shit in your head.
    “Suffice it to say that I killed people, sometimes the wrong people, innocents, and I saw terrible things that impacted me. I’m good with dealing with the enemy if I know who that is. It’s the gray areas I can’t deal with, and there were a million shades of gray over there. Meredith says my personality couldn’t deal with the incessant barrage, and so I became like an automaton, like lots of other guys. Maybe if I’d already been a trained Dom, I’d have dealt better. I don’t know. Anyhow, when I was discharged, I tried to purge my soul and destroy myself at the same time. You know the rest.”
    Max looked at him. There was no pity in his eyes, nor judgment. Max just looked at him and slowly nodded. “And then you met a girl who didn’t give a shit about all the crap, just about you. And you got all conflicted and tried to protect her by shoving her away instead of hanging tight. Yeah, that’s typical. How’s that working for you? Nope, no need to answer. My Meredith’ll help you with the conflict, and then it’ll be up to you. And then you’re done seeing her.”
    Dave heard the implacable resolve in Max’s voice. Max had been the party boy, the one who made up the last man standing in various sexual permutations, always alone on the outside, always looking in. But then he’d met Meredith and figured himself out, then made himself a home. Dave had the most insane need to weep with envy, so he dropped his gaze to hide it and merely nodded his compliance. Max punched him the upper arm before letting himself out. Dave sat there and looked at the carpet for eternity.

Chapter Five
     
    “Please sit down, Miss Lambert.” Andrew Wright’s calm, deep voice did more than direct her to the chair in front of his desk. It settled her anxiety and spoke to something deeper inside of her. It was like being in Alistair Frayne’s presence. Or Dave’s. Although Dave hadn’t left her in any settled state of mind on that day he rejected her, and she still ached from playing it over and over in her head in an attempt to understand and dispel the finality.
    “I’ve gone over your paperwork.” Fiona snapped to attention at the tiny hint of