like right now flicker like flames behind my eyes. I wonder if she’s wet for me. Is she bare or does she wear the same soft brown color down below? The fantasy fills my brain, making the world fall away. I’ve never been this close to her. All my fears about what I want to do to her explode. She’s so tiny and I have to fight for control.
I would hurt her.
And it would be beautiful.
“Angel, babygirl.” The words slip from my lips into where I’m now latched onto the top of her head. The brush of my lips turns into a kiss and I want more.
She retreats. Her head falling down an inch, then as quickly snaps upward, smacking my lips into my teeth.
“I’ll finish this up...” her voice shakes. I wince, but it’s my pride that’s hurt the most.
I fucking scared the shit out of her. What was I thinking? I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never had what you would call a game, but with her I can’t even think straight.
I manage to stand up and turn half sideways, thinking that may obscure her view of the size twelve tent in the front of my dress slacks. Since that first time she waited on me here, she’s been the center of every thought passing through my brain. She’s in my dreams, images of her legs spread for me. My hand on her ass, my cock in her mouth. The sounds she will make. Fuck.
Why the fuck did I go with boxers today? I need twelve pairs of compression shorts if I’m within a mile of her.
The blood is like a hurricane roaring in my ears, but I pick up on the whimper of her discomfort through the noise. I hate that I made her feel so awkward, so afraid of me. She’s moving about like she doesn’t know where to look, gathering up her pen and calculator. Making a half turn one way, then a quarter turn back.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...” I manage.
Her hands are stabbing at the calculator as she turns. “I’ll write it up. You can pick them up next Saturday.”
That’s ten days .
Ten days before I’ll have a legitimate reason to come back. But I’ll see her before then. The last five days I’ve forced myself to stay away from stalking her at her apartment. The landlord there caught on and I have to admit I questioned what the fuck I was doing.
It’s not everyday you see a half-grizzly, half-human with one metal foot sneaking around behind the dumpster’s and questioning anyone that comes within twenty feet of her bedroom window, so I’ve had to back off. It’s been killing me not being closer. After the landlord threatened to call the cops, I took to driving around her block a few times a night, keeping a distance. Just checking on the lights in the apartment. Waiting until I saw them turn off. Wishing her sweet dreams and tucking her into bed in my own way.
The last two nights I’ve had business functions and a celebration dinner with Cindy and some of her employees. By the time I got to the apartment complex for my nightly drive by, all the windows were already dark.
I’ll watch her come and go from the store too. Follow her to the animal shelter where she volunteers on Thursdays and after work on Sunday. I think I could sniff her out if need be. Her sweet scent, her kind smile, the innocence she tries to hide. They call to me like a witch to the cross. I want her in ways I can’t understand but my mind settles on the fact that maybe some things are just not meant to be.
She scurries toward the back room of the gallery nearly tripping and falling on her way. My heart pumps triple time as I walk toward the front door of the store; my vision darkens around the edges, and I have to grip the door frame as I leave. My fingers ache as the metal strains under the force. Because the last thing I want to do is leave. But I can’t figure out how to stay.
I don’t know how to do this.
The only word I need to hear from her is my name. And it’s not Magnus. It’s something even I