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less than two seconds. Her nails were piercing and she sank them
into my forearms like a terrified and angry cat. She hissed at me
and let her fangs drop. The saliva on them trickled and for a
moment I thought she looked completely sexy in the my-lover-is-bat-shit-crazy-and-looks-hot-attacking-me-randomly-to-get-into-a-stranger’s-apartment kind of way.
     
    She withdrew her nails and sank them in me
again. I stretched my arms out and tried to fling her off of me but
she had sunk them in deep. I winced as the pain rippled through me.
This was not what I had in mind for my evening.
     
    "What are you doing here, playboy?" asked
Lydia, her anger was seething.
     
    But when it came down to it, it was the one
thing I could always depend on Lydia to do in a predictable manner
- be pissed off all the way or not at all. She was an all or
nothing kind of woman in that way and so many others.
     
    "I could ask you the same thing," I tried to
be as quiet as possible but I was sure my panting was louder than
my words, "I was serious. Coming after Prussia is a death wish. How
stupid are you?"
     
    My breathing was labored. Lydia was really
thrashing at me now and fending off the bulk of her attacks was
taxing. I tried to fling her off me again but failed. I tried to
keep blocking her stabbing with my forearms. The blood from my arms
was starting to make a mess of the floor.
     
    "Humans are fair game," said Lydia, "The
bitch dies tonight,"
     
    Lydia went for my face and when I blocked
she used the opportunity to knee me in the stomach. Then that was
followed by yet another knee to the stomach and another after that.
I wasn't weak. I was delaying what I didn't want to do but had to.
I had to kill the only woman I had ever loved.
     
    I had to kill her for disobeying the Queen
or die myself. I felt like retching my soul out of my body so I
wouldn't be judged for what I was about to do. Somehow, maybe if I
didn't have a soul what I was about to do wouldn't haunt me as I
knew it would. How could our eternal lives ended up in this
way?
     
    Her thrashing was violent, more violent than
I had ever remembered even during our hunts in the middle of the
night out of bloodlust. I shared the best of myself, the most
vulnerable of myself with her. And she used it against me. Taking
her razor sharp nails, she went for my chest with a burst of
renewed vigor. I could see it in her eyes. She had come to terms
with going threw me if she had to.
     
    "After all this time?" I asked, “Over a
human?”
     
    I held her at arms length. I had her held
out in front of me by her elbows and she had her hands dug into my
arms. We were entwined in pain and blood, mostly my pain and blood
but I did squeeze very hard.
     
    "You’re the one protecting her instead of
helping me. I saw an opportunity," she said, her breathing matching
mine. I was wearing her down a bit, "I'm taking it. Let me go. I
don't want to have to go through you. Let me go and we'll be
together. I just need to kill her,"
     
    She sounded crazy and looked equally crazy.
Her eyes were wild and her hair was everywhere from our tussling. I
squeezed her arms even harder and saw her wince in pain. It was the
face I hated to see. I stopped squeezing and tried to reason, to
plead.
     
    "You know that I have to kill you now, the
Queen's orders!" I said, "Why didn't you listen to me?"
     
    I wanted to shake her, shake reason into her
but I knew it wouldn't work. Her face was bewilderment and
confusion and I wanted to shake it right off her face. It would at
least make me feel better. I gritted my teeth and started to
tremble with the urge to shake her.
     
    "I am following the Queen's orders," she
said, her face lighting up suddenly, "Just tonight, the Queen told
me to kill Prussia. Help me and then we can be together,
finally,"
     
    She was a masterful liar and it cut me
deeply that she would lie to me, that she would be so cruel to try
to get me to do something that would end with not only her