“What?”
“Assault, Meredith. I’m going to say one more time that I’m not interested. I want you to stay away from me. This shit isn’t sexy and it doesn’t turn me on. It’s sad and pathetic.” I tug on a shirt.
“Her baby daddy is alive, Max. You’re living in a fantasy world if you think she’s going to marry you when she could have him.”
I force myself to take a breath before I talk. “Are you listening? I need you to hear this. Whatever Hanna decides—whether she marries me or Nate Crane or the fucking man in the moon—I will never, ever be with you again. I would rather be alone than be with you. I would rather be abstinent for the rest of my life than have you in my bed. I tolerate you because you’re my daughter’s mother. That’s it and that’s all, and the next time you enter my house without my express permission, I’ll call the police and have them drag your delusional ass to jail. Do I make myself clear?” I leave the bedroom before she can answer.
Hanna’s waiting for me in the living room, her eyes wide.
Of course. Fuck.
“Hanna, I can exp—”
“I heard. All of it. She’s lost her mind.”
My shoulders sag with relief and I gather her into my arms. “She’s never known how to be alone. But this is a new low. I think…” I take a breath and slowly let it out.
Meredith has always been one to go after what she wants, and she never paid much mind to anyone who stood in her way, but it’s been different since Claire was born. More desperate.
“Would you quit talking about me?” Meredith emerges from the bedroom, fully dressed, her hair hanging in wet clumps around her shoulders. She narrows her eyes at Hanna. “How’s Nate?”
“Alive,” Hanna says dryly.
“So I hear. Have you even told Max about your fun little trips this summer? All over the fucking country. Or should I say, all over the country, fucking ?”
“Did you need something?” Hanna asks her, and I’m proud of her. Six months ago, Meredith would have had Hanna turning away to hide in a corner. She’s changed. She’s stronger now, more confident. Did I do that, or was it Nate?
“Fine,” Meredith says. “I’m out. Where’s Claire?”
“She’s napping.” I nod to the Pack ’N Play on the other side of the room. “I’ll bring her by your place later.”
“Fine.”
“I need to tell you something,” I say when we’re alone.
Her teeth sink into her bottom lip. “Okay?”
“I’m getting a lawyer and pursing custody of Claire. I know it seems crazy with the twins coming, and I hope you understand—”
“I think it’s wonderful.” Her face lights up with her grin. “You’re an amazing father, and I hope you win.”
I release a breath and tension I hadn’t realized I felt dissolves from my shoulder. “Thank you,” I whisper, “for understanding.”
She splays her fingers over her belly. “I understand more than you know,” she says with a sad smile.
“How are you holding up? Did it go okay with Nate last night?”
She stiffens at his name. “He asked me to move to LA.”
Of course he did. “And what did you say?”
She blinks at me. “I’m not leaving New Hope. This is my home.”
“He wanted more than for you to move to LA.” I take a step closer. I need to touch her. I wonder if she knows she’s pulling away from me, if she can feel it like I can. It’s as if we’re connected by a thousand little threads like those in a woven rug and they’ve been breaking one at a time since the moment Nate came back into town. With every breath, I feel another thread snap. “He wanted you .”
She shrugs. “I’m already taken.”
I draw in a deep breath. She lifts her hand to my face and skims her fingers along my jaw.
I groan softly and slide my hand into her hair as I lower my mouth to hers. She’s soft and sweet, and I need more of her.
Taking a fistful of her skirt, I yank her dress up around her waist and find the cotton of her panties. She gasps, and
David Levithan, Rachel Cohn