really have
tried everything they can think of, and most of them are still
working on it. The video in front of me is the last one, and a
scientist speaks to a person with a microphone. The camera angle is
very close, and I can see that the air has a reddish tint.
“Is there anything we can do?” The
questioner’s voice has a helpless note to it.
The scientist rubs his chin. “The only thing
we’ve found to slow the progression of the toxin is
endorphins.”
“Endorphins—you mean like…”
“The ones produced when exercising, when
laughing, and even from the healing bunk.” He clears his throat.
“But despite all the drugs and tools we’ve created, the best method
of producing them for this purpose is by having sex.”
The questioner almost drops the microphone
in surprise. “You mean…”
“Everyone should have as much sex as
possible. Yes.” The scientist looks directly at the camera. “We
will be distributing the supply of endorphins we have for healing
bunks, but it would obviously be helpful if all citizens would try
their best to create their own endorphins. The supply will go first
to the unmated citizens, and citizens too young for mates.”
The video ends, and I start another one.
This one discusses the time frame of the toxin. My heart sinks as I
hear their conclusion. At best, even with the endorphin treatments,
they have one year to live.
One year before an entire race of people
dies.
I feel sick. Climbing to my feet, I turn and
head back to the command room.
“Juordin.” His purple gaze turns to
mine.
I blink back tears. “If we don’t do
something, all of our people will be dead soon, and it will just be
you and me.”
He turns to look out the viewscreen,
avoiding my gaze. “Listen…”
“How did it happen for you? Were you in
space, too, when the virus hit?”
“No,” he says, softly. “I was on
Tuorin.”
My mind turns slowly. “How is that
possible?”
He doesn’t answer me.
Every hair on my body stands on end as a
chill runs through my blood. “Look at me.”
He doesn’t, hiding his face behind his long
waves of brown and gold hair.
“Look at me, dammit.”
Finally he does, and I hate the pain in his
eyes. I hate what it means.
I can’t seem to catch my breath. “Are
you…dying?”
“Yes,” he whispers, the word barely
perceivable over the noise of the engine.
Deadly silence fills the room. I have no
words to fill the empty space. The ache in my heart.
After a few minutes, he speaks again, his
voice low. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Sorry?” The word seems meaningless in this
situation.
He nods. “I know this is a lot.”
“No.” I raise my head. “We’ll put you in the
healing…thing, and you’ll be fine.”
He gives me a slight smile, one that seems
sad. “Even then, you know my time is limited. And I need to
recharge it again before I can use it.”
“So recharge it,” I order him, crossing my
shaking arms over my chest.
He takes a deep breath. “The only way to
charge it is to go back to Tuorin.”
Again, I have that odd feeling, as if
everything is hitting me at once, but my mind just can’t process
what I’m hearing. “So why did you turn around instead of going
there first?”
His gaze flies to the viewscreen again,
avoiding mine.
I cross the bridge to where he sits in the
captain’s chair. Emotions flood my senses. I want to scream at him.
I want to hit him. I want to hold him.
But in the end I just stand there,
paralyzed.
Waiting for an answer.
“Because you asked me to.” The words are
quiet.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I demand.
“Would it have changed your mind?” he
counters.
I throw my hands up in the air. “Damn right
it would have.”
He starts. “Really?”
“Of course. You didn’t give me any options.
If I’d known we could recharge your healing bunk and then go back
to Lla’ei, I would have done it.”
He looks out the window again. “Then I
apologize. Since the toxin