Read Alice for Free Online Page A

OK, off you go now.
    CHESHIRE CAT: No, you go.
    ALICE: You go.
    CHESHIRE CAT: No, you.
    ALICE: Seriously. Really go.
    CHESHIRE CAT: Yeah, alright I’m going.
    Some people have no taste.
    The CAT stalks off, his tail in the air .
    ALICE: So – ok, so all I have to do is follow the signs, yeah?
    She looks at one .
    H R TEA.
    ALICE walks in the way the sign seems to be pointing.
    The signs will take me to the tea party at the centre of the universe and when I get there there’ll probably be a door –
    She looks at another sign .
    H R TEA – this way.
    ALICE walks in the direction that sign points to. She passes the POSTMAN , pulling the postbox behind him .
    Hello.
    POSTMAN: G’morning.
    ALICE: So there’ll be a door and I’ll go through it and then I’ll be back in my house.
    ALICE stops, thinking. The POSTMAN also stops and starts to search through his postbox for something .
    Back at home with all those people. And the funeral.
    POSTMAN: Hang on a minute...
    ALICE: What?
    POSTMAN: Here it is – postcard for you.
    The POSTMAN hands the postcard to ALICE and moves off .
    ALICE: Yeah, thanks for the warning, by the way, about the Duchess.
    ALICE looks down at the postcard and reads it .
    ‘Don’t forget what’s in your pocket’
    POSTMAN: Cheerio then.
    ALICE: It doesn’t say who it’s from.
    ALICE turns to the POSTMAN , but he’s gone already .
    ‘Don’t forget what’s in your pocket’? There’s nothing in my pocket, it’s all been eaten or given away as a prize or flipping confiscated or
–
    Oh.
    ALICE pulls the other letter out of her pocket – the one the POSTMAN gave her earlier .
    There was a letter. Divvy.
    ALICE opens the letter. Unseen by her, the WONDERBAND arrange themselves close by .
    OK, it’s a poem or something.
    She turns the letter over .
    God, does no one sign their letters here?
    She turns it back over and starts to read .
    ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
    The WONDERBAND take over and start to sing. ALICE turns around, surprised .
    WONDERBAND: (Singing)
    ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
    ALICE closes the letter and the band stops abruptly .
    She turns back to read it on her own but as soon as she opens it the band starts up again .
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.
    She closes it again and they stop .
    She opens it very quickly and they start up, then she shuts it again after only a word or so .
    ALICE turns back to the band .
    ALICE: Sorry, can’t I just read it myself –
    WONDERBANDER: We’ve been paid to sing it, so –
    ALICE: Yeah, I don’t really like being sung to.
    WONDERBANDER: If someone gives you a song you’ve got to listen.
    WONDERBANDER: Please.
    ALICE: Fine, OK, go on.
    The WONDERBAND play her the whole poem .
    WONDERBAND: (Singing)
    ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.
    “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
    The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
    Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
    The frumious Bandersnatch!”
    He took his vorpal sword in hand:
    Long time the manxome foe he sought–
    So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
    And stood awhile in thought.
    And as in uffish thought he stood,
    The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
    Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
    And burbled as it came!
    One, two! One, two! and through and through
    The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
    He left it dead, and with its head
    He went galumphing back.
    “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
    O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
    He chortled in his joy.
    ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.
    The band stop. ALICE looks at the band, unsure what to do now.
    ALICE: OK, could I have a translation, maybe?
    One of the musicians comes towards ALICE with a clipboard