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together.  Any second now she would wake up from this horrible nightmare and call Ben and tell him everything she had meant to say but never had and to apologize for all the lost moments that could have been.  She thought it strange how you can spend so much time with someone and think you’ve said everything you needed to, but when there is no more time left there are still a million things to say.  The agony ripped through her like a knife as she realized that those opportunities were lost forever and she had realized it too late.
    She cautiously took the few steps to his bedside and sat down on the chair beside him.  She took his hand once again, praying this time he would hold it back, but he didn’t.  His fingers lay still and limp, cradled in her palm.  She slowly lifted his hand to her lips and tenderly kissed it, surprised at the saltiness of it.  She then realized it wasn’t Ben’s hand, but the tears that were streaming from her eyes gathering in the crevices of his hand that was creating the taste on her lips.  She opened his hand and placed his warm palm on her wet cheek and closed her eyes thinking back to the times he had cradled her face in his hands, just before he kissed her.  She moved his hand up and down, imagining it was him stroking her cheek, and for a moment she fooled herself, but then the mechanical sounds and sterile smells of the hospital invaded her senses and she knew where she was again.  She stared up at him who still looked like he was simply sleeping and would wake up any moment.  She timidly reached over to him and began running her hands through his thick, soft hair, watching each blade bend and fall like a wheat field blowing in a gentle breeze.  She traced every line of his face trying to burn the feeling of his skin into her fingers so she would always remember what he felt like. 
    “Ben,” she whispered to him, still grasping his hand. “Ben, please wake up.  You can’t leave me.  I need you.  You said you’d never leave. You said you’d never let me down.  Please don’t go.”
    She waited for his response, which she knew would never come, and without thinking, she crawled onto the hospital bed, carefully wedging herself between Ben and the railing. She had to be close to him one last time.  After lifting his limp arm and placing it over her shoulder, she snuggled as closely as she could next to him, draping her hand across his chest just like she did when they were cuddling in bed.  She rested her head on his chest and listened to the comforting pattern of his heartbeat, which seemed to be telling her he was with her, that he knew she was there and that he loved her.  She felt a warmth consume her, the warmth of Ben’s love, and then she began talking to him for the last time.
    “I love you Ben,” she said quietly through the painful lump in her throat. “I have always loved you and I will love you forever.  Thank you for loving me every day we’ve been together.  Thank you for making me a better person and for showing me what love truly is.  If I’d known last night would be our last time together, I wouldn’t have let you go.  I would’ve asked you to stay and hold me.  I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to stay.  I’m sorry you were alone when this happened.” Her breath began to quicken and her voice was barely audible through the tears and the lump in her throat.  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to hold you and tell you I love you.  I’m sorry for always over thinking everything.  I’m sorry I never got to be your wife and you never got to be my husband.  I’m sorry we’ll never know our children.”  The sobs were uncontrollable now and she clung to him fiercely, telling herself she would never let go.  He couldn’t be leaving her; he couldn’t not be here in the morning.  Her body began to shake violently as she clung to him, willing him to stay.
    “You can’t leave!  I need you,” she wailed and then felt a gentle touch