and treated her admirers with deep contempt, saying rude things to them and then beckoning them back to her with a sideways glance of the eyes.
Really, thought Joan (with a heat that was unusual in her) a most detestable girl. Doing everything she could to break up my married life.
No, she didnât blame Rodney. She blamed the girl. Men were so easily flattered. And Rodney had been married then about â what â ten years? Eleven? Ten years was what writers called a dangerous period in married life. A time when one or the other party had a tendency to run off the rails. A time to get through warily until you settled down beyond it into comfortable, set ways.
As she and Rodney had â¦
No she didnât blame Rodney â not even for that kiss she had surprised.
Under the mistletoe indeed!
That was what the girl had had the impudence to say when she came into the study.
âWeâre christening the mistletoe, Mrs Scudamore. Hope you donât mind.â
Well, Joan thought, I kept my head and didnât show anything.
âNow, hands off my husband, Myrna! Go and find some young man of your own.â
And she had laughingly chivvied Myrna out of the room. Taking it all as a joke.
And then Rodney had said, âSorry, Joan. But sheâs an attractive wench â and itâs Christmas time.â
He had stood there smiling at her, apologizing, but not looking really sheepish or upset. It showed that the thing hadnât really gone far.
And it shouldnât go any farther! She had made up her mind to that. She had taken every care to keep Rodney out of Myrna Randolphâs way. And the following Easter Myrna had got engaged to the Arlington boy.
So really the whole incident amounted to exactly nothing at all. Perhaps there had been just a little fun in it for Rodney. Poor old Rodney â he really deserved a little fun. He worked so hard.
Ten years â yes, it was a dangerous time. Even she herself, she remembered, had felt a certain restlessness â¦
That rather wild-looking young man, that artist â what was his name now? Really she couldnât remember. Hadnât she been a little taken with him herself?
She admitted to herself with a smile that she really had been â yes â just a little silly about him. He had been so earnest â had stared at her with such disarming intensity. Then he had asked if she would sit for him.
An excuse, of course. He had done one or two charcoal sketches and then torn them up. He couldnât âgetâ her on canvas, he had said.
Joan remembered her own subtly flattered, pleased feelings. Poor boy, she had thought, Iâm afraid he really is getting rather fond of me â¦
Yes, that had been a pleasant month â¦
Though the end of it had been rather disconcerting. Not at all according to plan. In fact, it just showed that Michael Callaway (Callaway, that was his name, of course!) was a thoroughly unsatisfactory sort of person.
They had gone for a walk together, she remembered, in Haling Woods, along the path where the Medaway comes twisting down from the summit of Asheldown. He had asked her to come in a rather gruff, shy voice.
She had envisaged their probable conversation. He would tell her, perhaps, that he loved her, and she would be very sweet and gentle and understanding and a little â just a little â regretful. She thought of several charming things she might say, things that Michael might like to remember afterwards.
But it hadnât turned out like that.
It hadnât turned out like that at all!
Instead, Michael Callaway had, without warning, seized her and kissed her with a violence and a brutality that had momentarily deprived her of breath, and letting go of her had observed in a loud and self-congratulatory voice:
âMy God, I wanted that!â and had proceeded to fill a pipe, with complete unconcern and apparently deaf to her angry reproaches.
He had merely