rapidly becoming an expert on anything Mother got involved in. Like the herb garden. That is, in addition to being an expert in her two specialties: raising other people’s children and educating them. Aunt Thelma has one maid, Valerie, and one husband, Uncle Ben. Both the maid and Uncle Bencommute to work. And even if she had kids, I don’t know why Mother should listen because Aunt Thelma is the
younger
sister, even if she is richer. But Aunt Thelma went to daytime college and finished. Mother went to nighttime college, part-time, and quit when she met Dad who was also going to nighttime college, part-time. They still talk about how Mom worked so that Dad could go to day-time college, full-time, and finish being an accountant. They talk about it often. You’d think that they’d have gotten over it by now. I figured that my mother respected education, and that’s why she put up with Aunt Thelma. Spencer, also.
Although Mother didn’t like to have both hostessing and baseball on her mind at the same time, she put out a nice meal. Pot roast and cheese cake. Mother is great with cheese cake; she tops it with strawberries.
Aunt Thelma was dieting; dieting is part of Aunt Thelma’s character. Dieters annoy Mother. When she was pot roasting and cheese caking, she expected everyone to eat a lot. Because of the braces I let her down, too.
Mother commented as she was clearing up, “I’m putting away more than I put out.” She always said that when we had company.
Aunt Thelma and I made an effort to help Mother clean up, but when Mother is aggravated, she is verydifficult to help. Like when I asked, “Where should I put the leftover roast?” Mother didn’t answer. She sighed, wiped her hands on her apron, and took it from me. Looking straight at me, she wrapped it in aluminum foil, and then with movements like a ballet dancer, put it in the refrigerator. As she closed the refrig, she said, “I started keeping leftover roast in a refrigerator five minutes after it got invented.” Aunt Thelma never looked comfortable in a kitchen; she perspired. And I wasn’t comfortable; my whole face felt on the verge of pain except when I chewed, and then it felt in actual pain.
By the time we arrived at the practice field, Mother was exhausted, and Spencer was irritated. Dad had decided to stay home and read; he always went on a reading jag after tax season. Uncle Ben chose to keep him company. As soon as we got there, Aunt Thelma ran out onto the field full of dignified enthusiasm until her heels sank into the ground and she began tilting backwards. After that she sat on the bench and observed.
The team arrived in dribs and drabs after we did. They came in carloads driven by mothers who were all dressed like Aunt Thelma in stretch pants and ski jackets with their hair all pasted together. The trouble with the way Aunt Thelma looked was that when she walked, nothing moved but her legs. When Motherwalks, it’s like she carries a private breeze with her, and that’s much nicer.
Mother herded all the kids into the dugout and began by introducing herself and Spencer. “My name is Mrs. Setzer. Here is Spencer who is your coach.” There was dead silence. Mother smiled and cleared her throat. “I’m your manager.”
There followed one loud snort from the left end of the dugout. Mother ignored it and continued, “I think we can be a winning team if you listen to me and to Spencer and work hard and train hard.” The snort was louder and longer this time. Mother ignored it again. “After this we’ll practice every Tuesday afternoon and Friday before sundown unless there is rain.” Again the snort. Everyone began to laugh. Mother cocked her ear this time and listened. “Would you please repeat that?” she requested. Her head remained tilted, but she kept her eyes from the left side of the dugout. There followed a double snort. Everyone laughed again. Louder. “Does someone here have trouble with adenoids?” she asked.
Janwillem van de Wetering