whimper.
He cups my sex in his palm for a moment,
before pushing one of his fingers inside me,
while his thumb circles my clitoris, gently and
slowly. I moan.
His left hand caresses my breast; his thumb
brushes over my stiff nipple. I cry out.
My orgasm reverberates off the shower
walls. One of my hands rest between my legs,
while the other one is braced against the
humid tiles. My breathing gradually slows down
and I begin to feel cold. As soon as the last
waves of pleasure subside, I realize that I am
in trouble. Eagan wants to save our friendship,
but my heart and my body clearly crave much
more.
I punt on jeans and a black t-shirt. I ignore the
mirror, as I know what my reflection will show;
a skinny young woman with big and worried
dark eyes and long, straight black hair.
Barefooted, I pad into the kitchen. I drink
five glasses of water, then I notice the plate
full of cupcakes on the counter. I also see the
note: Eat me .
I ignore the suggestion.
I open the fridge, knowing already what I'm
about to find; a bowl of pasta salad with
mozzarella, cherry tomatoes and basil. A
pretty white, red and green still life that Clém
has prepared to stir my appetite.
Clémentine is Canadian.
We became friends, then roommates, during
our first year of university. We were both
hunting for apartments, and we decided to
search together.
Just like me, and the twins, she chose Rome
because of the Italian cinema, and the
overwhelming culture and history of this
country.
When she began to experiment with the
Italian cuisine, I supposed it was a cultural
interest. I was wrong. It was because of me.
She noticed my bad relationship with food and
she tried to mend it.
She failed.
She's still failing. It's not her fault.
There's a huge and dark hole inside me, that
grips and twists my insides. It is a cold entity
that I'm unable to chase away. It's a presence
that runs under my skin and makes me feel
constantly cold.
No matter how many hot showers I take, I
always sense the frost adhering to my body and
my heart.
7.
“So, we're about to meet a bunch of kick-ass
lawyers?” Asks Marco.
“They're kick-ass architects,” I clarify.
We've finally managed to find a parking
spot, after a long search.
We make our way down narrow and isolated
lanes, and then down wider and more
populated streets. Both the sidewalks and the
roads, paved with small, square stones called
San Pietrini , are uneven and arduous to tread;
that is why I often wear combat-boots, like
tonight, or sneakers.
“Are they all Americans?” Marco demands.
“No, they're a mixed group,” I answer,
glancing at our small and varied party.
“Sounds familiar.” He links his right arm
around Clém's shoulders and his left arm
around Virginie's waist, as we keep walking and
stumbling.
Marco is the only genuine Italian in our
circle of friends. Tall, lanky, with brown hair
and dark eyes, he's Clém's boyfriend and the
singer in our punk-rock band.
Ivan is the bassist and Alessio the drummer,
but they both play the piano and the guitar as
well, like me; unlike me, they didn't quit music
school.
Virginie is Canadian, like Clém. They came
to Italy together. Virginie, however, doesn't
share our apartment.
”I'm a spoiled bitch, who can afford a studio
thanks to my rich parents.” Her own words.
Both tall, blond and curvy, my Canadian
friends are wearing tight dresses and very high
heels. Brave girls.
The club where Eagan's office party takes
place, is called Il Buco , the hole, because of
its little entrance. Inside, though, it's quiet
spacious. Tonight it is packed, but we manage
to slip in without waiting for too long, because
the bouncer remembers our band. He asks us
about the very talented twins, and we explain
that they're working tonight. A part of me is
glad they're not with us, for I'm planning to use
them as my excuse to escape.
We played in this club a couple of times. We
have a