Read A Terrible Beauty: What Teachers Know but Seldom Tell outside the Staff Room for Free Online

he was, arms wide, palms up. “I am
too old for this.” She couldn’t help smiling. “She did it.” He
shrugged. “Oh, yeah. I knew she could. She’s just a little
hesitant. I can’t blame her.”
    “What do you mean?” He looked over his shoulder at
the locker room doors. They were closed.
    “When she was six, her mother was strangled by a
boyfriend.” Solange shivered, suddenly cold.
    “She was there. She saw it. She’s been in foster care
ever since, but Chelsea— “ He nodded. “She’ll make it, she’s a
fighter. She waits tables at Bette’s five nights a week, and she’s
still got a 3.8. What a sweetheart, huh?” The rain picked up again,
peppering the roof high overhead, a gray, desolate sound.
    He lay, head flat on the mat, watching her. Suddenly
self-conscious, she looked away. There was no way he could know
what he did to her, how he made her feel—she would make sure he
never did.
    “Your stupid idea.” She crossed her legs under her
case. “I’d like to hear it. You said you want to be observed, but I
do that anyway, I always do that.” He nodded, setting back his
glasses. “You must be pretty anxious to get back to that cushy
office.” She squirmed uncomfortably on the hard bench, ran her
tongue along the inside of her teeth. So he was right, he couldn’t
know for sure. She wouldn’t get sucked in that easily. She smiled
sweetly, eyes diamond hard.
    “So you’ve said.”
    “Hey, don’t give me that look, I don’t blame you.
I’ve thought about it myself Nice office downtown— Nice secretary—
Twice the money for half, or a tenth, the work, depending on your
inclination—Meetings— Conferences— Suit— Tie— Just see kids when
it’s time to give out awards— Shake a few hands— Pass out a diploma
or two— Seventy-five grand a year.” He planted a noisy kiss on the
ends of gathered fingers. “Sweet set up, a real gravy train.” She
swung her foot impatiently, high heel dangling loose on a toe.
“Does my job look easy to you?” He turned his head to look at her,
ear to the mat, thinking it over. “I wouldn’t trade you.” He sat up
with a groan, his hands braced behind him on the mat. “What’s nuts,
what’s really nuts is without the kids, there wouldn’t be any
reason to be here. Why not just work in an insurance office, hang
out with the gals at the water cooler? No, the kids are what it’s
about. They make it a great job on the good days, and a rotten job
on the bad ones.” She had never met anyone quite like him. She
couldn’t deny it—she was intrigued.
    “So are you going to tell me?” He looked at her
doubtfully.
    “You want to hear it.” She said she did.
    “Okay, if you’re going to take my scalp, at least
stick around long enough to find out whose you’ve got.” He did the
thing with his glasses, and she bit her lip to keep from smiling.
It was a prim, almost effeminate habit. She liked to see him do it.
It made him less frightening.
    “Meaning?”
    “Meaning you spend a week as my Siamese twin.”
    She let go of the breath she’d been holding. What was
this? “A beguiling image, I’ve got three days.” He gave up, slapped
the mat. “Okay, three days, then.” Her eyes narrowed. What could he
want? “And in return you offer— “
    “I told you—you see me the way I am, warts and
all.”
    She shook her head. “Uh, uh, not enough.” He leaned
forward, elbows on knees, feet spread. “What else do you want, my
still-beating heart?”
    “I want your resignation.” She shrugged. “As
insurance.”
    • • •
    Slowly, he got to his feet, rubbing the small of his
back. It was good to see her sitting there on the bleachers. He’d
missed her since she’d been moved to district. Oh, they’d never
really talked much, but he missed watching her brush that mane out
of her face. Like a kid would do it. Not for show, but only to get
the damned stuff out of her eyes. He liked the way she looked at
people in a way that said, ready