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shuddering. I turned on my heel and walked into the house, rubbing my hands over my face.
    As the door shut behind Aunt Jessie, I heard a cough coming from the den. The sound of my mother’s cough was nothing compared to Liam’s, but it was a stark reminder of what my life was reduced to.
    I walked into the den to find my mother sitting on the couch. Nobody else spent time in this room besides her. Usually she came in here to play her violin, but she was wrapped up in one of Gram’s old patchwork quilts.
    I approached her tentatively. She looked at me with a blank expression. No sign of recognition, but also no sign of anxiety. There was no telling how she would receive me from one moment to the next. Some days she tolerated me, others she became upset at the sight of me. She stayed calm as I sat beside her and relief coursed through me.
    “How’s Mom been?” I asked. Aunt Jessie stood leaning a hip on the doorway.
    “She’s doing okay now, but she was upset when Pop got sick. Thankfully Nic was here to take care of her.”
    Even though Aunt Jessie would never say something to hurt me on purpose, it still felt like a shot to my chest. I should have been here to take care of my mother. If I’d been more careful, would Pop still be home where he belonged?
    “Thanks Nic,” I called out to my cousin, who was banging around in the kitchen.
    “No problem, obviously,” she said, bringing me a cup of coffee.
    “What time did they go to the hospital?” I asked after I took a sip.
    “Well,” Aunt Jessie said glancing down at her watch. “It’s 9:00 now, so it was about 6:30 when we drove him up to the ER.”
    “Does Gram know I called?” I asked.
    “Yes, and she’s very relieved. Maybe you should give her a call.”
    I walked out to the kitchen to get the cordless phone. I dialed the preset button for Gram’s cell. She answered right away in a hushed tone.
    “Hi Gram,” I said.
    “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so glad to hear your voice. We’re just getting Pop settled into his room, so I’ll have to call you back in a few minutes, okay?”
    “Of course, call me back when you can.”
    I started to put the phone back on its cradle, but decided I needed to let Ethan know I was okay. He’d have questions I couldn’t answer.
    I set the phone down. What was I going to tell him? Before I came up with an answer the phone rang. I picked it up before it finished the first ring.
    “Christ, Al,” Ethan said with a deep sigh. “What the hell happened?”
    I licked my lips and looked out the window.
    “I lost my cell, my car died. You name it and it happened,” I said, going for vague.
    “Did something happen with Niamh? Is she okay?”
    “I don’t know,” I said, which was the truth. I kept my voice low to keep my family from hearing. “She and Aodhan went to Thunder Bay and I… I tried to follow them and, well you know how that went, I presume.”
    “From what Nic said, I didn’t know what to think. Something about Niamh and Liam arguing, which obviously wasn’t true. Dammit, I was going crazy, Al.”
    “I’m so sorry Ethan, really. I didn’t mean to worry anyone.”
    “I’m glad you’re home safe. I just wish you would have called, I would have gone with you.”
    I chewed at my lip, fighting back the misery in my chest. There was no way I could have called any of them, but that didn’t ease my conscience.
    “Mind if I stop by at lunch?” Ethan asked when I didn’t respond.
    “No, of course not. Did you… did you know about Pop?”
    “Yeah, Jeff told me a few minutes ago. How’s he doing?”
    “I’m not really sure. I just walked in the house a few minutes ago.”
    “When you get the go ahead, I’ll take you up to see him okay?”
    “I’d like that,” I said, surprised he was being so nice to me after what I’d put them all through.
    I hung up and walked over to sit on the couch. I had many hours during the drive home to consider different ways I could cause problems for Niamh and Aodhan.