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mesh and close my eyes.
    “I can help
you.”
    “Please give
me hope,” I say in a soft voice.
    “Allyn?”
    “Yes.” I
don’t lift my head to look at him.
    “Today we’re
finished, but tomorrow…”
    “Yes,” I
interrupt him.
    “Tomorrow
you open both doors.”
    I lift my
head and look at his soft face. His features are warm and accepting.
    “Tomorrow, I
open both doors,” I confirm, surprising myself.

Chapter 7
    10 a.m. on
day one thousand and twenty-three. My door bell hasn’t rung yet.
    What if
Dominic doesn’t come today?
    What if he
doesn’t want to help me anymore?
    What if he
left me?
    They
always leave.
    Standing in
my family room with my coffee cup cradled in my hands, I eagerly look toward
the door.
    He said he’d
be here. Where is he?
    I suppose it
doesn’t really matter, I probably wouldn’t have opened the door anyway.
    I’m not
ready for that yet.
    No I’m definitely
not ready. I’m crazy if I think that I’d actually let him inside, there’s no
way that I’d open those doors.
    It’s not
time to open them yet, my soul’s not willing to accept it.
    I turn away
from the front door and am on my way back into the kitchen, when the doorbell
rings.
    He’s here
and he wants to help me.
    I put my coffee
cup down and walk to the door. I look through the peep hole and Dominic is
standing tall on the other side.
    Taking a deep
breath in through my nose, I close my eyes and lean my forehead up against the
heavy, brown wooden door.
    “Allyn, I’d
like a cup of coffee please,” he says through the door, no louder than his
normal speaking voice.
    He knows I’m
already at the other side.
    “I…” I’m not
sure what I want to say. I’ve convinced myself that I can’t open the door for
him. The fear is gnawing at me and the monsters’ voices keep coming at full volume.
    Am I stuck
inside my beige world forever?
    “What time
is it, Allyn?” Dominic asks.
    I look to
the huge wall clock that’s been above the hallway table since I’ve moved here.
    “Ten minutes
past ten,” I answer.
    “Have you
had a coffee yet?”
    “I was just
drinking it before you knocked.”
    “Great, now
we can have one together. Cream and sugar, please, Allyn,” he says in a sure
tone.
    He wants to
come in. He told me yesterday that I was going to the open the door and let him
inside.
    And I think
I can do it.
    It’s just
two doors.
    I grab for
the panic button that’s around my neck and grasp it tight in my hand.
    Okay.
    I can do
this.
    I turn off
the alarm and open the wooden door. Dominic stands slightly to the side of the
screen door, clearly expecting me to open it. He smiles at me benignly as I
nervously try to unlock the latch.
    My hands are
shaking so badly that I fumble with it.
    “Do you have
regular coffee or that decaffeinated shit that seems to be the all the rage?”
Dominic asks as I concentrate on putting the key in.
    “Um, I only
drink the real stuff. I’ve got a coffee machine, so I’ll make you a real
coffee.”
    “Oh, you’re
a barista? Well, then I expect a latte. I don’t drink them often, ‘cause it’s
not really cool for a guy to order one when he’s out in public with others, but
seeing as you’re skilled in making coffees, you can make me a latte,” he says
and chuckles.
    He does that
often, laughs at his own jokes. I find that a smile always finds its way to my
lips too.
    I’d go as
far as to say that I’ve smiled more the last three days than I have in the last
three years.
    Before I
know it, the latch has turned and the screen door is unlocked.
    Fuck.
    There’s nothing
protecting me now. I’m totally exposed, vulnerable to the tall man standing on
the other side of the door.
    My fingers
once again grasp my panic button. I can feel the forearm of the hand holding it
begin to ache because of my incredibly tight grip.
    My heart
races at a speed I’m all too familiar with. Sweat beads and then rolls down my
back, beginning to soak my t-shirt.
    Small