SEEMS
UNEXPLAINABLY CHAOTIC TO YOU-THE WARS
AND THE SUFFERING, THE REST OF IT.
I am thirsty.
IN A MOMENT. I MUST FINISH WITH THIS FIRST.
YOU SEE MORSFAGEN CASTING DICE, FOR HE
DESPISED AND ONLY USES YOU FOR HIS OWN
ENDS. THE CLOAK SYMBOLIZES YOUR LIFE,
YOUR PURPOSE, YOUR INDIVIDUAL IDENTITY.
THERE SEEMS TO BE A HINT OF THE FUTURE IN
YOUR DREAM, A MOMENT OF CLAIRVOYANCE,
AND YOU SHOULD BEWARE THE MAN.
Go on.
YOU SEE CHILD AS A THREAT TO YOUR NEATLY BUILT THEORY. HE IS ANOTHER VIRGIN
BIRTH, OF THE ORIGIN THAT YOU ARE OF. YOU
REALIZE THAT HE HAD BUILT THE SAME SECOND-COMING THEORY TO EXPLAIN HIS OWN
PURPOSE IN THE WORLD. YOU UNDERSTAND
THAT SINCE HE HAS MET YOU, HIS LIFE PURPOSE HAS BEEN SHATTERED AND THAT HE IS
HUNTING FOR ANOTHER ANSWER. YOU DON'T
WANT TO HAVE TO DO THAT YOURSELF. YOU
DON'T WANT TO HUNT.
THE WOMAN, MELINDA, IS ALSO A THREAT TO
YOUR PURPOSE (OR, RATHER, TO THE FANTASY
PURPOSE YOU HAVE CREATED FOR YOURSELF).
CHRIST COULD NOT FALL PHYSICALLY IN LOVE
WITH A WOMAN. BUT YOU HAVE. ADMIT IT. THIS
IS YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE. LISTEN AND KNOW
THAT YOUR PURPOSE IS TO LOVE AND COMFORT
AND TO BE LOVED IN RETURN. OTHERWISE, YOU
FACE ONLY SCHIZOPHRENIA.
Could that be a purpose, though?
IT IS THE OLDEST PURPOSE. WASH YOURSELF
CLEAN OF FALSE PURPOSES. ALLOW ME TO ESTABLISH A SERIES OF PERSONALITY TAPES TO
REINFORCE YOUR FALTERING SENSE OF REALITY AND TO SUBDUE THIS CHRIST SYNDROME.
THE REASON YOU LIVE IS TO LOVE. SO IT IS
WITH MOST HUMAN BEINGS. DON'T SEARCH
FOR A LARGE PURPOSE, FOR MORE COMPLEX
MEANINGS, FOR THE WHY OF THE WORLD OR
THE REASON IN HATE AND WAR. BE SATISFIED
THAT YOU KNOW YOURSELF. IT IS A WISE MAN
WHO KNOWS HIMSELF.
WE WILL PROCEED WITH THE HEALING
NOW
VII
The following morning, as I stepped out of the elevator near the top of the AC complex, Harry intercepted me before I had taken more than four steps toward the room where Child waited for another session. His round face was drawn, pale, and lined with heavy creases that had not been there before. He looked as if he had not slept all night. A cursory examination of his rumpled clothes and withered shirt collar was proof of that. He grasped my arm, digging his fingers in until it hurt, and steered me across the corridor to an unused office, pushed me inside, followed, and closed the door behind us.
"Cloak and dagger?" I asked. It was amusing to see him engaged in some melodramatic play like this. Yet also terrifying. If Harry Kelly thought there was a need for caution, there most assuredly was. Normally, he had the greatest respect and confidence in due process, even in these days. Many considered him a Polyanna. Now Polyanna was scared, and nothing short of an ogre could have managed that.
"Look, Sim, lay off the arrogance with Morsfagen. Say yes sir and no sir and thank you sir, and help me get his temper down. No smart cracks and no more antagonism.
I haven't ever asked you much, but I ask this. Listen, son, it might mean everything we've worked for if you can't keep yourself in check."
"I can't stand the man," I said.
"Neither can I."
"What's happening?"
"The situation is worse than any public communications are reporting it. The Chinese and their Japanese advisors have set up a command post on the Russian side of the Amur River. Only maybe a hundred yards' worth of invasion, but they refuse to move backwards on request. On the Chinese side, troops have been massing for four days.
A special spurline was laid down, and troop trains are running in on the hour from the main tracks that pass east of Nunkiang, through the Khingan Mountains."
I took it all in. I'd never been much on geography, and I must have looked rather blank, for he flapped his arms in despair and started on me again.
"On the other side of the border there,