A Comedy of Heirs

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Book: Read A Comedy of Heirs for Free Online
Authors: Rett MacPherson
came in the kitchen.
    â€œScare you?” he asked and sat down. He wore his hair in the same fashion that he’d worn when he was eighteen. The Elvis pompadour thing, even though he wasn’t much of a fan of Elvis. He wore a red work cap with marble dust splatters on it, cocked to one side so that his pompadour wouldn’t get too smashed. His hair used to be so black it was nearly blue, but now it was turning gray around the edges.
    â€œYeah,” I said. “You scared me.”
    â€œSorry. Got any coffee made?” he asked.
    â€œI think there’s some sludge in the bottom of the pot,” I answered.
    He got up and filled his giant, filthy QT mug with my wonderful sludge and sat back down. He lit up a cigarette and I handed him a saucer.
    â€œWish you people would get ashtrays around here,” he grumbled as he took the saucer from me.
    â€œNone of us smoke,” I said. “It just never occurs to us to get an ashtray.” I walked over to the table and sat down with my half full glass of milk. “Uncle Melvin go home?”
    â€œYeah, I’m about ready to head out myself.”
    â€œBefore you go,” I ventured, “I was wondering. How exactly was it that Great-grandpa Keith died again?”
    He looked at me strangely and raised an eyebrow. My father hated it when I knew something about his family that he did not. He felt like it was his family, he knew them before I did and so he should know everything first.
    â€œWhy?” he asked.
    â€œJust tell me how he died.”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œCome on, Pop, just humor me.”
    â€œWell,” he said and took a drink of the sludge. He actually grimaced but took another sip anyway. “It was August.”
    â€œWhat’s in season in August?”
    â€œThis was the forties, in the country. You can hunt whatever you want,” he said, irritated. “They were hunting squirrel, though, I imagine.”
    â€œOkay,” I said.
    â€œIt was August and Grandpa Nate took his son, Uncle Gran—”
    â€œYou mean Granville?”
    â€œUncle Granville,” he said. “And my dad and Jed along with him. I heard they’d been drinking a little, because it was so hot and everything.”
    These particular ancestors of mine didn’t need the excuse of the heat to be drinking, but I thought it best not to express my opinion on this. Dad continued.
    â€œAnyway, they got turned around in the woods and couldn’t figure out where they were—”
    â€œWhy would they go so far in the woods if they were just hunting squirrels? You could practically find them in the backyard,” I said.
    â€œAre you gonna let me tell this damn story or not?” he asked. He was slightly annoyed. Ticked would be more like it.
    â€œSorry,” I said all sheepish.
    â€œSo, anyway, Uncle Jed suggested that they just go in the opposite direction of the sun and eventually they’d run into the river because they’d be heading east,” he said. “Grandpa Nate wouldn’t hear anything of it. He wasn’t going to listen to no snot-nosed grandkid tell him which way to go in the woods. He knew those woods like the back of his hand.”
    â€œEven though this snot-nosed grandkid was twenty-eight years old?” I asked.
    Dad gave me the eyebrow again and I shut up.
    â€œAnyway, so Jed decided he was just going to head for the river. He didn’t really care what Grandpa thought. So, him and Dad, which was your grandpa, headed for the river. Well, Uncle Gran decided about five minutes later that his dad was being foolish and that yes, he was going to go with Jed. Well, about ten minutes after they were headed to the river, they heard a gunshot.”
    He stopped talking and looked at me as if I was going to butt in. I shrugged my shoulders that I didn’t have anything to say, really, and he went on.
    â€œThey ran back and found Grandpa Nate. They said that

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