Read A Comedy of Heirs for Free Online Page A

on a stick,” I said. “And that’s supposed to prove something?”
    â€œIt means you’re pregnant. You don’t have mono.”
    â€œHow do you know I don’t have mono?” I asked. The blood had drained from my face, I could feel it.
    â€œI can test you for it if you want, but you don’t have swollen glands, fever or sore throat. What you do have is symptoms of feeling run down and being tired and one blue stick that says you’re pregnant,” he said, all chipper. “A lot of women mistake early symptoms of pregnancy with the flu or mono.”
    I sat there perfectly still. The other two times I found out I was pregnant I was at my OB’s office, not my regular doctor. They made me pee in a cup and I didn’t see what kind of test they used. Plus, we’d been trying so I was expecting it. This came out of left field and I was not prepared for it at all. It never even occurred to me. This just could not be. I was pregnant? I was going to have a baby? The last time I had a baby Rachel threatened to make it sleep in the street if it was a boy. Thank goodness it was a girl.
    Tears welled in my eyes. I wasn’t ready for another baby. There weren’t supposed to be any more. What was I going to do with another baby? Where would I put it?
    â€œYou’re sure?” I asked.
    â€œThere are other things that can make you tired, but before poking your veins for blood, I thought we’d go this route first. I was right. When was your last period?”
    I thought about it for a minute. I was so wrapped up in this whole reunion thing that I hadn’t even realized that I was … five weeks. I counted it on my fingers. Five weeks. It was five weeks ago. And the blue stick said I was pregnant.
    â€œOh my god,” I said. “I’m pregnant.”
    â€œTold ya,” he said and smiled.
    â€œDon’t smile like that,” I said, all serious.
    â€œWhat?” he asked. “This isn’t good news?”
    â€œI don’t know yet,” I said. “I have no idea what Rudy will say. My mother will probably have a stroke. Sylvia will go ballistic. None of the dresses will fit. Oh, man.”
    â€œDo you want me to call somebody to come and get you? Are you so upset that you can’t drive yourself home?” he asked.
    I barely heard his words echoing around in my head. I was off on another planet somewhere. “When?” I asked. “When is it due?”
    â€œAugust sometime,” he said. “You need to make an appointment with your OB.”
    â€œYeah,” I said. “You’re absolutely right.”
    Pregnant. I got off the examining table, picked up my purse and book and headed out the door. Pregnant. Baby. Baby. Pregnant. My head hurt.

Six
    There’s nothing like having a really big secret and not being able to tell it to anybody. Which is why most secrets don’t make it as secrets very long, I would presume. I let the whole evening pass and didn’t say one word about that blue stick at the doctor’s office. Not one. On one hand it took every ounce of self-restraint that I had, and God knows that ain’t much. On the other hand I was actually afraid to bring up the subject. This wasn’t something that had even been discussed. Rudy and I had our two kids and never talked about what we would do if this sort of thing happened. I was clueless as to how anybody would react.
    I stood by the refrigerator drinking a glass of milk. Mary’s newest artwork was hanging from a magnet of a pig that said Pig Out. The drawing was of our house and it had people coming out of all of the windows and doors, even the chimney. I think she was trying to tell me something.
    My father walked up the basement steps and surprised me. I jumped. It was late, almost midnight, and everybody was in bed or off to their hotel, bed and breakfast or whatever it was they were doing. I gave a small jump when my dad