Read A Carol for a Corpse for Free Online

what he wanted. As a matter of fact, he refused to say what he wanted.”
    “That’s why you drew a frowny face?”
    “I drew a frowny face because he refused in a very rude way, and if you ask me, he’s just some kind of very obnoxious sales guy selling cemetery plots or whatever and I would have thrown the message in the trash can if you hadn’t yelled at me about taking each and every message no matter what. He was,” Dina repeated with some heat, “rude!”
    Quill obligingly threw the note from the cemetery salesman McWhirter into the wastebasket.
    The phone rang. Dina said, “I’ll get it!” reached across Quill’s desk, and chirped, “Inn at Hemlock Falls and the good news is we’ve been saved by the bell and we’re not goingbroke! May I help you?” And then, “We were just talking about you, Mr. McWhirter.” Suddenly she turned bright pink. “You still don’t want to tell me why you’re harassing Ms. Quilliam? No?”
    Too late, Quill jumped up and reached for the phone. Dina blew a raspberry into the receiver and hung up.
    Quill sat down again and sighed. “Dina.”
    “That,” Dina said, her voice trembling, “was very satisfying.”
    “Just how exactly was he rude?”
    “Mean,” Dina said. “Just out of nowhere. For no reason.” She blinked away tears, and then sat down on the couch. Quill loved the fabric—large bronze chrysanthemums on a background of cream and red. Dina’s bright purple sweater clashed horribly with the flowers. “Sorry. I must be PMS-y or something. But you know how stuff just hits you all of a sudden? When you aren’t, like, really prepared for it?”
    “What did he say?” Quill persisted.
    “Well, after I said that we were just talking about him, he said that he knew what to do about snippy little pieces like me.”
    “Oh, dear.” Quill tugged at the curl over her left ear and regarded her receptionist. “Maybe it’s better not to . . . chirp when you answer the phone . . .”
    “Chirp?”
    “Chirp,” Quill said firmly. “As in giddy. It doesn’t excuse this person, of course, and if he calls back one more time, you can be sure I’ll give him a piece of my mind, but really, Dina, no chirping.”
    Dina thought about this, sighed, and then said, “I was just expressing my personality.”
    Quill maintained a prudent silence.
    “You want coffee or anything?”
    “Coffee’d be fantastic. Thanks.” She addressed Dina’s back as she went out the door. “And if you must know why I’m calling Marge back first, it’s because I want to find out how come my practically best friend in Hemlock Falls failed to warn me there was a bomb in my bus. To wit, this consultant.”
    Dina turned around. “Mrs. Schmidt is practically your best friend?”
    “After you and Meg, of course,” Quill said generously as she dialed Marge’s cell phone number. “Coffee. Please. That’s what best friends do—offer up coffee when the times get tough.”
    “Schmidt, here,” a voice said in her ear.
    “Marge, Quill here. How are you?”
    “. . . I can’t come to the phone right now. Leave a message.”
    Marge was not only the richest but the thriftiest person in Hemlock Falls. Once answering machines had come on the market, she’d fired her own receptionist and relied on them exclusively. Quill left a message to please call back, then called John Raintree’s office to see if she could drive to Syracuse and meet him for dinner, but discovered he was out. She knew there was no way to reach Myles. She didn’t really need to call the mayor because it was the second Tuesday of the month and the Chamber of Commerce meeting was always held in the Inn’s Tavern Lounge and she never forgot that, although occasionally she skipped meetings. Elmer had a talent for reminding people of the obvious.
    She felt, suddenly, useless. And terrible about crushing Dina’s personality. All those management courses she’d taken at nearby Cornell University hadn’t done a thing for her