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and I’m all yours.” A Bar Tender Tale | Melanie Tushmore 41

    Nathan laughed. He knew Tazz was joking, unfortunately. “Surely you mean two pints?”
    “Let’s start with one,” Tazz said, unfazed. “A Guinness, my good man.”
    “Tazz, we need to get into town. I start work soon,” Jimmy complained.
    Tazz said to him, “All right, grandma! Calm down. You know it won’t take me long to drink.”
    “Yeah, you do pints as shots, right?” Nathan teased. He reached for a pint glass and started pouring the Guinness from tap.
    “It’s the only way to drink,” Tazz boasted.
    Gary lumbered through the staff door, dressed but without his shoes. He glared at Tazz. “I should kick your tattooed arse out of my pub.”
    “You’re not going anywhere near my bum,” Tazz quipped, slapping a fiver down on the bar. “I’m a paying customer! You keep your big hands to yourself.”
    “Ugh!” Gary rubbed a hand across his face, obviously giving up. He stood in the bar hatch and leaned against the counter. “Stay out of my room in future.”
    “Is that what you’re gonna tell Susie from last night?” Nathan opened up a new line of teasing.
    “ Susie? ” Tazz and Jimmy said together.
    Gary shrugged. “Massive knockers,” he said, as if in explanation.
    “Susie Whitfield?” Jimmy asked. “Slaggy Susie? Oh mate, I hope you used protection.”

    A Bar Tender Tale | Melanie Tushmore 42

    “I hope you gave her a good wash first!” Tazz grimaced.
    “And I wish you’d told me that before I jumped in bed with you. I’ve probably caught something now.”
    “Shut up,” Gary grumbled. “She’s absolutely fine, except she wouldn’t be quiet afterwards. She wanted to talk about everything, about us being a couple now, how much she liked me. I got no sleep.”
    “Do you ever stop moaning?” Nathan laughed at him.
    “Just be thankful you got laid.”
    “I am,” Gary defended. “It’s just hard to know when it’s polite to tell a girl to… you know, be quiet .”
    “You’re an idiot,” Nathan shook his head.
    “Seriously guys,” Tazz pulled his waistband out to peer into his shorts. “I’d better check if I’ve caught something. I heard she gave Nick the crabs.”
    “Ugh, grim!” Jimmy shifted along to the next stool.
    “That’s rubbish!” Gary raised his voice, his accent becoming more pronounced. “Nick started that rumor because he was embarrassed he got crabs off another girl.
    You shouldn’t listen to gossip.”
    “Gossip is the most fun,” Tazz argued back. “'Ere, Nathan! Do you want to inspect me? You’re the cock expert.”
    “Yeah, all right.” Nathan rolled his eyes, calling Tazz’s bluff. “Get it out, then.”
    “Please
    don’t.”
    Jimmy
    was
    starting
    to
    look
    uncomfortable. “Tazz, hurry up. Buzz told you to get those posters up today.”

    A Bar Tender Tale | Melanie Tushmore 43

    “Let’s put one in the window here!” Tazz instructed, slurping at his pint.
    “What is it?” Gary asked warily.
    Jimmy produced a couple of homemade flyers on a retina-burning shade of yellow paper. It listed a host of local bands playing at The Hobgoblin, Brighton’s biggest rock pub.
    “Punk Rock Sunday!” Tazz announced. “Nath, you comin’? You can see my new band!”
    “Yeah, I’ll come.” Nathan took a flyer to examine the lineup. “Looks like the most action I’ll be offered this weekend is getting hot and sweaty with a bunch of straights.”
    “I thought you had a boyfriend?” Gary asked.
    Nathan made a face. “Yeah, so did I.”
    “Oh dear.” Tazz chuckled. “Shall I play my violin for you?”
    “I’m fine,” Nathan told him. “Maybe I’ll turn straight for the night and show you morons how to actually chat up girls.”
    “Hah, you’re so funny… ha, ha.”
    “Oh, by the way.” Nathan turned to Gary. “A mate of yours came in. Auryn?”
    Gary nodded. “Oh right, yeah, he does if he’s been at court. Is he coming back?”
    “He said he would,