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tonight…”
    “You should go.”
    “I know I should. But I don’t think I can be around him,” I tell her frustrated.
    “Krane, he’s your best friend. Clearly he cares about you. Go, have a few drinks, unwind, joke with Logan. You have the ability to make his night better. And if anyone asks you questions, just say you’re there to focus on Logan, not you.”
    “I don’t know if I’m up for it.”
    “Come on, loosen up, the way you do when we’re together. It’ll be good for both of you. I’ll even drive you, if that helps.”
    “Ivy, that’s sweet of you, but I can call a cab.”
    “So you’re going?”
    Damn, women are so good at getting me to do things sometimes. “Fine, I’ll go, if you come with me. But you’re driving, I might need some coercing to get out of the car.”
    “Okay, I’ll go with you. What time should I pick you up?”
    “Is five okay with you?”
    “Perfect!”
    We get off the phone and I know I need to get measured for my tux or my sister is going to flip her shit entirely. Going through my messages, I find her texts and see a slew of new ones she sent me, panicking and pleading with me to do this for her. So I text her back, Going to get measured now!
    My sister means well. She just tries to juggle too much and because of that, like so many others, we have grown apart. It’s more my fault than anything, but I don’t give a shit about anyone anymore, not even myself.

    Knocking back another shot before I brush my teeth, the alcohol courses through my system and I’m thankful that Ivy is going to drive me. Her light knock on the door startles me, even though I knew she was coming. Jogging to the bathroom, I take a quick swig of mouthwash to hide the evidence of my drinking.
    Opening the door, she takes my breath away. Her hair is down and messy – I’ve never seen it like this – and then my eyes scan her body and I shake away the inappropriate thoughts. “Come in,” I tell her, leaning in and giving her a hug and soft kiss on the cheek. “You look good, really good,” I say.
    “Thanks, you too. It looks nice in here, you cleaned the place up?”
    “Yeah, I had some time today; it was getting pretty gross.”
    She laughs and walks to the couch, my eyes following her ass tucked into a pair of skin tight shorts. Her flawless legs have me thinking what it would be like to fuck her. Running my hands over my face trying to scrub away the filth in my head, I tell her, “I just gotta do my hair, then we can go.”
    She sits on the couch and picks up Zoë’s ring. I couldn’t bear to do anything with it when I cleaned today, still regretting not leaving it with her when she was cremated. There are so many memories and pain that fill me when I even think about moving it.
    Going into the bathroom, I splash some water on my face, and run it through my hair. Looking at my reflection in the mirror and the man I have become, I almost don’t recognize myself anymore. The past has fucked me up, everything with Zoë broke me in half, and now I’m just lost, wasting away.
    Wiping the tears from my eyes, I tell myself that I have to make a change, I have to try to move past all of this the best I can and somehow find the man that I am supposed to be. Because the man that I was died when Zoë took those last three breaths.
    Walking back out to the living room, Ivy is fiddling with the ring and sets it back down on the coffee table. She looks at me like she’s done something wrong, and I sit next to her, looking at the gold as it gleams in the light of the sun, the diamond sparkling like it did the day I gave it to Zoë.
    “Will you take her ring for me?” I ask Ivy.
    She looks at me, picking it back up and asks, “Why?”
    “I can’t have it here anymore. It’s the smallest object in the room, but all I see.”
    “Why not put it away, or take it back to the apartment in the city?”
    I give her half a laugh and get off the couch. Clearly, I’m worse off than she