just over seven weeks ago slowly closing. Vince was responsible for that.
Could I deny what we were feeling? Better yet, would I?
I
didn’t fee l like we were moving too fast. To the outside world, I would
look like a mega-slut. I hadn’t slept with him, but wouldn’t I , if
given the chance?
How
would I explain this to my friends? To my family? To Ryan’s family?
Oh
hey, guys, this is my new boyfriend. You know, Ryan’s friend?
I
was making too much of this. I didn’t have to tell anyone. I could hide Vince
away and we could be weekend friends who made out. I mean, would that work ?
Eventually, he would want more. Who was I kidding? I would want more.
“Okay,
patio. Drinks. I sit in the chair, you sit on the loveseat.” I poked my
finger into his stomach. “I mean it.”
He
put his hand to his chest. “Cross my heart.”
Yeah,
right.
“I
wonder if I should change out of this dress.” I don’t know why I said that
out loud.
“No,”
he said quickly. “You got all dressed up for me. Keep it on.”
I
wasn’t going to make it ten more minutes. I wanted a million things from him.
I
went inside and grabbed two beers from the refrigerator. I slipped the flats
off of my feet and fumbled around in the silverware drawer, trying to find a
bottle opener. I felt his hand before I saw him. He slipped it around my
waist and pressed up against my back, leaning his head down to my ear. He
spoke in a whisper. “God, you look so fucking good in that dress.”
Fuck
it.
I
shut the drawer and turned to face him, clutching on to the front of his shirt,
gently pulling on his tie. I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my mouth to his.
His hands dropped to the curve of my backside. He gave me a slow squeeze.
Oh.
My. God.
I
broke the kiss for a second. “Are you sure you don’t want to go out?”
He
gave me my answer my lifting me onto the counter and pulling me towards him
roughly. Our mouths were inches apart. My legs parted. I could feel his erection.
Oh
God, oh God, oh God.
My
chest literally felt like it was bursting.
“Tell
me to stop, Rachel. Now is the time. If you don’t want me, tell me now.”
I
could feel tears welling in the back of my eyes. Was I betraying Ryan?
“I do want you.” What is wrong with me? “But we have to slow
down. I’m not going to drop my panties in the kitchen.” I put my hands on his
chest and pushed lightly. “Can’t we just have a beer and sit outside for a
while? I’ll tell you what… you can even sit on the loveseat with me.” I gave
him my biggest grin.
“Oooh,
the loveseat. Color me excited.”
Feeling
bold, I pulled him closer, gently rubbing over the material of his trousers.
“I noticed.”
“Good God , woman. If you want me to go outside, you’re gonna have to stop
touching my junk.” He leaned in and gave me a short, wet kiss. He lifted me
off of the counter and placed me back on solid ground.
*
We
sat outside, listening to music and talking. We held hands. He rubbed my
fingers lightly and kissed me often. Around 10, it started to drizzle, so we
packed up.
I
made up the spare bedroom for Vince. Was he supposed to sleep in it?
When
I went to his place, I slept in his bed all weekend. Even if nothing had
happened, it still felt strange to sleep apart. I placed his bag on the spare
bed anyway. I didn’t want to assume anything.
I
went to the bathroom to change. I hung my dress and put on a black nightie
with a white bow at the front. It was the longest one I owned, just hitting
above the knee. It dipped low in the back though. There was nothing I could
do about that now. I pinned my bangs back and washed my face. I rubbed lotion
into my legs and arms and stared at my reflection in the mirror for far
The Secret Passion of Simon Blackwell