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Ones
    Page: 26

    This wasn't one of my better days, ' I said to Morelli. 'My car was destroyed, I was involved in a shooting, and I just sat through the dinner from hell. '

    Morelli slung an arm around me. 'Dinner wasn't that bad. '

    'My sister talked cuddle umpkins to Kloughn for two hours, my mother and grandmother cried every time someone mentioned the wedding, Mary Alice whinnied nonstop, and the baby threw up on you. '

    'Yeah, but aside from that

    'Not to mention, Grandma got completely snookered and passed out at the table. '

    'She was the smart one. ' Morelli said.

    'You were the hero. '

    'I wouldn't actually have shot him, ' Morelli said. 'Not to loll, anyway. '

    'My family is a disaster!'

    Morelli grinned. I've called you Cupcake for as long as I can remember, but I'm rethinking it after listening to the two hours of cuddle umpkins. '

    'Just exactly what is a human-type cupcake?'

    'It's like a cream puff but not as squishy. It's dessert. It's soft and sweet... And it's good to eat. '

    The eating part gave me a rush that went straight to my doodah.

    Morelli kissed me just below my earlobe and told me a few things about the right way to eat a cupcake. When he got to the part about licking the icing off the top, my nipples shrunk to the size and hardness of steel ball bearings.

    'Boy, I'm really tired, ' I said. 'Maybe we should be thinking about going to bed. '

    'Good idea, Cupcake. '

    I've been living with Morelli for several months now, and it's been surprisingly easy. We still like each other, and the magic hasn't gone out of the sex. Hard to imagine it ever would with Morelli. He's nice to my hamster, Rex. He doesn't expect me to make him breakfast. He's neat without being freaky about it. And he remembers to close the lid on the toilet... Most of the time. What more can you ask from a man?

    Morelli lives on a quiet street in a small, pleasant house he inherited from his Aunt Rose. The house mirrors my parents' house and every other house on Morelli's street. When I look out his bedroom window I see neatly parked cars and two-story redbrick attached town houses with clean windows. There are small trees and small shrubs in small yards. And behind the front doors are frequently large people. Food is good in Trenton.

    The bedroom window in my apartment looks out at a blacktop parking lot. The apartment building was constructed in the seventies and is totally lacking in charm and amenities. My interior decorating style is one step away from college dorm. Decorating takes time and money. And I have neither.

Ten Big Ones
    Page: 27

    It was nine in the morning and Morelli was off, ridding the city of bad guys, protecting the populace. I rinsed my coffee cup and set it in the dish drain. I tapped on Rex's cage and told him I'd be back. I hugged Bob and told him to be good and not eat any chairs.

    After I hugged Bob I had to use the lint roller on my jeans. I was rollering my jeans when the doorbell bonged.

    'Howdy, ' Grandma Mazur said when I answered the door. I was out for a walk, and I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by for a cup of coffee, '

    'That's a long walk. '

    Tour sister came over first thing with her laundry, and the house got real crowded. '

    `I was just going out, ' I told Grandma. 'I have some people to pick up this morning. '

    'I could help! I could be your assistant. I'd be good at it. I can be real scary when I try. '

    I grabbed my shoulder bag and denim jacket. 'I don't actually need anybody scary, but you can ride along if you want. My plan is to stop at the office to say hello. And then I'm going to get Sally so he can reschedule. '

    Grandma followed me out the front door, to the curb. This sure is a pip of a car, ' Grandma said, taking the Buick in. 'I feel like one of them old-time gangsters when I ride in this car. '

    I feel poor when I ride in the car, since I'm the one buying the gas. No car in the history of the world guzzled gas better than