would sure be nice.
[28]
one small thing
Chapter 3
Rue
I SLAMMED the door to my apartment. A little dramatic, and it made Alice cry, but damn, it felt good. What did that dumb, sports drink-chugging, Star Wars -obsessed shut-in know anyway? He just couldn’t do it because I really, really needed him to? I wanted to growl and scratch something.
I wasn’t too distracted by being pissed to realize I was in the same position I’d been in that morning, and every morning for the past three days. I was still out of a sitter, no hope for a solution in sight… and on top of that I was currently in a god-awful, bitchy-ass mood. I picked up my squalling infant from her car seat and rocked her against my chest, hoping my mood didn’t somehow transfer to her.
“Papa loves you, sweetie. I’m sorry I was loud.” I crooned at her after that, no actual words, just comforting murmurs peppered with kisses on her fuzzy little head. I reached over to my stereo and switched on the classical station. I’d noticed in the few short days I’d had Alice that the music seemed to soothe her. It took me a while, but I got her calmed and settled in her little bed, all covered by the blanket she’d had since the hospital.
“Sleep for a while, love.” I shut the light off in the frilly princess palace that was my second bedroom and ex-closet (I’d really loved living alone for that one reason) and retreated back across the hall to
[29]
Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea
the comforting familiarity of my own room. Black sheets, black bedspread and lampshades. The curtains and throw pillows were purple and bright blue, but there wasn’t a ruffle or drop of baby-pink in sight. I had to admit I’d let Dusty go a little overboard with the girly stuff. Too late for that now. I kicked off my flip-flops and capris and went for my favorite pajama bottoms and tank. Then I shoved my clothes into my now crammed, over-full dresser and went out to the couch to lounge.
I wished I had a bucket of sand to stick my head in. I supposed the TV would have to be the next best thing. I sat there forever, going through episode after episode of Sex and the City , Gossip Girl , The OC —all my favorite shows with pretty people and even prettier designer clothes. Alice woke after a while, and I changed her, then brought her out to the living room to cuddle with me. She drank most of her bottle while we were watching Carrie get her heart stomped on by Big uh-gain , burped a few times, and fell asleep in my arms. Again.
I marveled at how much babies slept. It seemed like all she did was sleep and eat… oh, and eject disgusting things from both ends of her tiny little body at regular intervals. I had no idea where she stored it all. I was looking forward to the day when she could take care of all of that herself. Eventually, I passed out myself with Alice on my chest and the TV at a comfortingly low level in the background. I woke up at around two when Alice did her customary middle of the night opera show.
We waltzed around the apartment for a while until I had her calmed down again, then I took her into her room and changed her before laying her down in her crib and petting the bridge of her velvety nose until she fell back to sleep. I had no idea why she liked the nose thing, but she did. I’d noticed right away it seemed to calm her down.
Then I dragged myself into my room and crawled in bed. All I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and hope the next day (or even worse, the next week) never came.
[30]
one small thing
BUT the next day did come, and with it all of the problems I’d had the day before. New baby, no daycare, class on Monday, and, well… I was screwed. Period.
I fired up my computer and made a sign: Childcare Wanted—
$500 a month. The cat lady’s apartment wasn’t that bad, come to think of it, just a bit furry. And maybe George from across the hall would be willing to change up his schedule for a bit of extra cash.
Terry Romero Isa Moskowitz Sara Quin