behind her and quickly locking it. Then she made damn sure all the other doors were locked, and checked the back seat for good measure. She had watched enough horror movies to know that often things hide in your back seat waiting to kill you.
Lisa felt unusually panicky. What should she do? Should she call 9-1-1? What would she say ... that some strange woman with messy hair and oversized glasses was making her feel uneasy?
Wait a minute. She would call Drew! Drew would know what to do.
Damn! What? Now her phone was turned off? God! Maybe she shouldn't have forgotten to pay the frickin' bill.
Well, she didn't exactly forget. It's just that she needed to buy the black halter dress and the black leather boots at the mall last week. Those items seemed a bit more urgent than paying a boring old phone bill.
Now Lisa questioned the wisdom of her decision.
What if her car doesn't start ?
There’s a horror movie cliché if ever there was one , Lisa thought.
She turned the key and floored the accelerator. Whew. It started! Lisa screeched out of the dark parking lot, feeling more jittery than she’d ever felt before in her life.
” Frickin ’ drunk homeless people!" Lisa barked, as she roared out onto the highway.
She looked back in her rearview mirror. The thing...the creature...was just approaching the edge of the pavement.
Homeless people were rare in those parts . It's not like Poplar Grove was a big city. Unless the bad elements of nearby Rockford were starting to infiltrate...
The odd disjointed way the woman was moving kept weighing on Lisa's mind. It didn’t even look human. Even though the ride home from Maybelline’s was short in distance, to Lisa , it felt endless.
When Lisa finally got inside her house, she half expected to see the homeless woman hovering by the bushes that lined the side of her yard . Once she was inside, she strode purposely into the kitchen, stealing one of her dad's beers. Lisa popped the top and gulped the whole thing down at once, only stopping a few times to take a deep calming breath .
Then she burped loudly. Embarrassed, Lisa slapped a hand over her mouth since she wasn’t prepared for the offensive noise to come bursting out at such a loud decibel.
"That was classy!" Lisa announced to the empty kitchen.
Lisa's Dad was in the den watching his favorite reality show, Mountain Men. He had the volume turned up so loud, Lisa was sure he couldn't hear anything except his dumb-ass show.
Lisa heard the sandpaper voiced narrator say, “ Marty is checking his trap line."
Oh, whoop-dee-do ! Lisa thought. Why do you need to trap animals anyway ? Doesn't everyone just buy fake fur these days ? Trapping is cruel. Screw you, Marty, whoever you are. You probably stink because you never take a shower !
L isa felt the beer warming her insides and relaxing her fucked-up brain.
No wonder people drink ! She thought. God. It was just a stupid homeless person. No big D. Get over it !
She would inform her boss on Monday about this problem, though. There might be a whole gang of derelicts casing Maybelline’s, getting ready to pull off some shoplifting organized crime thing.
As much as Lisa hated her job, she didn't feel like dealing with low life shop-lifters on top of everything else she was expected to do.
She grabbed some clothes and her bag of make-up and hair extensions from her bedroom. Then she ducked into the guest bathroom, which was really her own bathroom, since they never had any guests.
First, she removed her boring tan kakis and green T-shirt (the requisite "Maybelline’s uniform”). Then Lisa wiggled into tight jeans and an even tighter short hot pink top.
Next, she removed her eighteen-inch straight extensions and clipped in two rows of twenty-two inch curly black hair extensions, which set her back a hundred bucks a pack at Sally Beauty Supply.
The extra money was worth buying
Lisa felt unusually panicky. What should she do? Should she call 9-1-1? What would she say ... that some strange woman with messy hair and oversized glasses was making her feel uneasy?
Wait a minute. She would call Drew! Drew would know what to do.
Damn! What? Now her phone was turned off? God! Maybe she shouldn't have forgotten to pay the frickin' bill.
Well, she didn't exactly forget. It's just that she needed to buy the black halter dress and the black leather boots at the mall last week. Those items seemed a bit more urgent than paying a boring old phone bill.
Now Lisa questioned the wisdom of her decision.
What if her car doesn't start ?
There’s a horror movie cliché if ever there was one , Lisa thought.
She turned the key and floored the accelerator. Whew. It started! Lisa screeched out of the dark parking lot, feeling more jittery than she’d ever felt before in her life.
” Frickin ’ drunk homeless people!" Lisa barked, as she roared out onto the highway.
She looked back in her rearview mirror. The thing...the creature...was just approaching the edge of the pavement.
Homeless people were rare in those parts . It's not like Poplar Grove was a big city. Unless the bad elements of nearby Rockford were starting to infiltrate...
The odd disjointed way the woman was moving kept weighing on Lisa's mind. It didn’t even look human. Even though the ride home from Maybelline’s was short in distance, to Lisa , it felt endless.
When Lisa finally got inside her house, she half expected to see the homeless woman hovering by the bushes that lined the side of her yard . Once she was inside, she strode purposely into the kitchen, stealing one of her dad's beers. Lisa popped the top and gulped the whole thing down at once, only stopping a few times to take a deep calming breath .
Then she burped loudly. Embarrassed, Lisa slapped a hand over her mouth since she wasn’t prepared for the offensive noise to come bursting out at such a loud decibel.
"That was classy!" Lisa announced to the empty kitchen.
Lisa's Dad was in the den watching his favorite reality show, Mountain Men. He had the volume turned up so loud, Lisa was sure he couldn't hear anything except his dumb-ass show.
Lisa heard the sandpaper voiced narrator say, “ Marty is checking his trap line."
Oh, whoop-dee-do ! Lisa thought. Why do you need to trap animals anyway ? Doesn't everyone just buy fake fur these days ? Trapping is cruel. Screw you, Marty, whoever you are. You probably stink because you never take a shower !
L isa felt the beer warming her insides and relaxing her fucked-up brain.
No wonder people drink ! She thought. God. It was just a stupid homeless person. No big D. Get over it !
She would inform her boss on Monday about this problem, though. There might be a whole gang of derelicts casing Maybelline’s, getting ready to pull off some shoplifting organized crime thing.
As much as Lisa hated her job, she didn't feel like dealing with low life shop-lifters on top of everything else she was expected to do.
She grabbed some clothes and her bag of make-up and hair extensions from her bedroom. Then she ducked into the guest bathroom, which was really her own bathroom, since they never had any guests.
First, she removed her boring tan kakis and green T-shirt (the requisite "Maybelline’s uniform”). Then Lisa wiggled into tight jeans and an even tighter short hot pink top.
Next, she removed her eighteen-inch straight extensions and clipped in two rows of twenty-two inch curly black hair extensions, which set her back a hundred bucks a pack at Sally Beauty Supply.
The extra money was worth buying
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