bubbling just underneath the surface of J. P.âs cool exterior.â
Lilly blinked at me. âHave you been reading Tinaâs romance novels?â she wanted to know.
I ignored that. Or the mean little elf did, really.
âIf you really and truly want me to forgive you for all those times you ruined my parties,â I said, âyou will tell J. P. you love him.â
Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I couldnât believe I was saying them. I donât even know why I was saying them. What did I care whether or not Lilly told J. P. she loved him?
Although it would definitely cut down on her whining about his not using the L word. And I was kind of interested to see what heâd do in response. You know, in a fun, social-experiment kind of way.
Lilly didnât look like she agreed with me, though. About it being a fun social experiment to tell J. P. she loved him. In fact, she kind of looked like she wanted to barf.
Which prompted me to ask, âYou do love him, donât you? I mean, youâve only been going on about how great he is for the past month and a half.â
âOf course I love him,â Lilly said. âIâm crazy about him. Who wouldnât be? Heâs, like, the worldâs most perfect guyâsmart, funny, sensitive, hot, tall, not gay, and yet still obsessed with Wicked , Everwood , and Gilmore Girls â¦. Thatâs why I donât want to ruin itâwhat I have with him!â
Which was when I heard myself say, âItâs the only thing I want for my birthday. Besides world peace. Your telling J. P. that you love him, I mean.â
What was WRONG with me? That wasnât ME talking. It was the mean little elf inside my mouth, making it move and say things I didnât actually mean.
Maybe this is what happens when you turn sixteen. A mean little elf moves inside your body and starts controlling your words and actions. Funny how theyâve never mentioned anything about THAT on My Super Sweet Sixteen . Or on Dr. Phil .
âThis is just like when Henry II asked his knights to kill the Archbishop of Canterbury,â Lilly said in a small voice.
âOr when Rachel asked Ross to drink the glass ofleftover fat in order to prove his love on Friends ,â I said. Because I wasnât talking about murdering J. P., for crying out loud.
But was Lilly going to drink the fat?
That was the question she seemed to be struggling with as she murmured, âI have to go to the office to get something photocopied,â and wandered from the G and T room in a sort of daze.
âMia,â Borisâwho had just been headed into the supply closet to practice his latest piece when Lilly and I had started fighting, and so of course heâd stopped to watch (though heâd pretended to be listening to his iPod)âsaid. âWhat are you doing ?â
Even though Boris is already sixteen, he apparently hasnât met his mean little elf. Maybe boys donât get them when they turn sixteen.
Still, I canât say I appreciated his tone. I mean, he knows from firsthand experience how difficult Lilly can be to deal with sometimes.
Really, Lilly should be grateful he hasnât said anything to J. P. about the details surrounding their breakup. I donât think even the Beast would haveappreciated hearing about how Belle played Seven Minutes in Heaven with a guy who wasnât her boyfriend right in front of said boyfriend.
Iâm just saying.
Friday, April 30, the Plaza
I entered Grandmèreâs suite super carefully, looking around for any cameramen or purple-haired girls who might be lurking in the shadows.
But Grandmère seemed to be the only one in there. Well, Grandmère and Rommel, who I discreetly checked for mics. But he appeared not to have any secret bugs tucked into his purple velour sweat suit. That I could find, anyway.
âOh, for Godâs sake, Amelia,â Grandmère said, apparently
Melinda Metz - Fingerprints - 5