Read Murder Most Merry for Free Online

neighbors he went to visit his mother in Sarnia. Little Billy Bank Manager with a shortage in the books and a yen for high living in warmer climes vanishes into the Christmas Triangle with a suitcase of money from the vault and reemerges under another name in Rio. And so on and so on. Copycats.”
    “Father’s right. We only take one,” said Mrs. Kay. “That’s what our agreement calls for.”
    Mr. Kay nodded. “Last year it was an arrogant young bastard from the SPCA investigating reports on mistreated reindeer. Tell me my business, would he?” Mr. Kay’s chest swelled and his eyes flashed. “Well, Mother and I harnessed him to the sleigh right between Dancer and Prancer. And his sluggard backside got more than its share of the lash that Christmas Eve, let me tell you. He was blubbering like a baby by the time I turned him over to my scurvy crew.”
    “I don’t understand,” said Sorley. But he was beginning to. He stood up slowly, utterly clearheaded and sober. “You mean your cannibal crew ate him?” he demanded in a horrified voice.
    “Consider the fool from the SPCA part of our employee benefits package,” shrugged Mr. Kay. “Oh, all right,” he conceded when he saw Sorley’s outrage. “so my little shipmates are evil. Evil. They’ve got wolfish little teeth and pointed carnivore ears. And don’t think those missing legs and arms were honestly come by in pirate combat. Not a bit of it. There’s this game they play. Like strip poker but without the clothes. They’re terrible, there’s no denying it. But you know, few of us get to pick the people we work with. Besides, I don’t give a damn about naughty or nice.”
    Sorley’s voice was shrill and outraged. “But this is hideous. Hideous. I’ll go to the police.”
    “Go, then,” said Mr. Kay. “Be our guest. Mother and I won’t stand in your
    way.”
    “You’d better not try!” warned Sorley defiantly, intending to storm from the room. But when he tried he found his shoelaces were tied together. He fell forward like a dead weight and struck his head, blacking out for a moment. When he regained consciousness he was lying on his stomach with his thumbs lashed together behind his back. Before Sorley’s head cleared he felt something being shoved up the back of his pant legs, over his buttocks, and up under his belt. When they emerged out beyond the back of his shirt collar he saw they were the bamboo poles that had been leaning in the corner.
    Before Sorley could try to struggle free, a little pirate appeared close to his face, a grizzled thing with a hook for an arm. little curly-toed shoes and a bandanna pulled down over the pointed tops of its ears. With a cruel smile it placed the point of its cutlass a menacing fraction of an inch from Sorley’s left eyeball and in language no less vile because of the tiny voice that uttered it, the creature warned him not to move.
    Mrs. Kay was smiling down at him. “Now don’t trouble yourself over your car, Mr. Sorley. I’ll drive into the city later tonight and park it where the car strippers can’t miss it. Father’ll pick me up in the sleigh on his way back.”
    Mr. Kay had been stamping his boots to get them on properly. Now he said, “Give us a kiss, Mother. I’m on my way.” Then the toes of the boots hove into view on the edge of Sorley’s vision. “Good-bye, Mr. Sorley,” said his host. “Thanks for coming. Consider yourself grist for the mills of Christmas.”
    As soon as Mr. Kay left the room, Sorley heard little feet scramble around him and more little pirates rushed to man the ends of the bamboo poles in front of him. At a tiny command the crew put the cutlasses in their teeth and, holding their arms over their heads, hoisted Sorley up off the floor. He hung there helplessly, suspended front and back.
    The little pirates lugged Sorley out into the hall and headed down the carpet toward the front door. He didn’t know where they were taking him. But their progress was