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someone else’s idea. We all know that if we criticize the idea of the inventor, the reaction is usually a counterattack and hard feelings. If there is one thing that irritates people more than criticism, it’s constructive criticism.
    Jonah taught us how to turn these sensitive situations into win-win. It takes some work, and some reexamination, but it certainly pays off. To tell the truth, even though it works like a charm, the effort involved causes me to be more careful with the phrase—“let me think about it.” Probably not careful enough.
    “Okay, let’s start by the book,” I say. “What are the positive things about Dave’s request to have my car while I’m away? I’m stuck. I can’t see any. He’s a good driver and relative to his age he’s quite responsible. But my new Beamer?” Desperately I write, “The check-up will be done on time.”
    “Can’t you come up with something more convincing?” Julie is amused.
    “Frankly, no,” I laugh. But there must be something else, or I would have given him a flat “no.”
    She echoes my thought, “Well, why didn’t you tell him ‘no’ on the spot?”
    “Because I was afraid of his reaction. He would have been hurt, and have felt as though I were treating him like a child.”
    “Yes,” Julie replies. “At his age it is very important to feel that his father trusts him.”
    “I don’t know if I trust him to that extent,” I say. Nevertheless, I write down, “Strengthening the trust between me and my son.”
    “What else?”
    “That’s good enough,” I say. “This is a good enough reason. Now, let’s go to the easy part, the negatives. I have zillions of them.”
    Julie smiles. “You know what usually happens, Alex. Before we write them it looks as if there are infinite reasons, but when we put them down, it turns out that there are relatively few, and more embarrassing, most of them are pitiful excuses.”
    “Okay,” I say to Julie, “let’s see if it’s the case here; I don’t think so.”
    “Start writing.”
    Without hesitation, I put down the first two reasons that pop into my mind. “One. ‘High risk of damage to the car.’ Two. ‘High risk of Dave injured in an accident.’ ”
    “Wait a minute,” Julie says. “I thought you said that Dave is a good driver. You are letting him drive your car from time to time. Besides, if you’re so worried about increasing the risk of damage to your cherished toy, why do you drive it downtown?”
    I think about it for a second. And what about the alternative, parking it at the airport? “You’re right,” I agree, and cross off the first item.
    I look at the second reason. My car is much safer than Dave’s piece of junk, I admit, and cross the second reason out as well.
    Julie smiles at me. “Yes, that happens. When you verbalize and examine each negative, often it turns out that they are just unfounded prejudices.”
    I don’t buy it. I don’t want to give my car to Dave. I don’t want to share it with anybody. It’s mine. “Okay, here’s a real one,” I say. “ ‘Dave gets used to using my car.’ No, that’s not strong enough.” I cross it out and write instead, “Dave feels he has a right to use my car.”
    “Yeah, kids do get used to things very quickly,” Julie agrees. “He will drive it for one week and you will have a partner for your car.”
    “That’s a big negative,” I say.
    “There is another one,” Julie adds. “You know his dream of driving to Mexico? His spring break is the week you’ll be in Europe.”
    “Take my car to Mexico!” I jump out of my seat. “And then he’ll get stuck there and I’ll have to come to his rescue.” I can vividly see this horrible scenario.
    “How are you going to write that down?” Julie asks.
    “Having to stop my business in Europe to come and rescue Dave.”
    “Aren’t you exaggerating?”
    “Julie, if, God forbid, he is stopped in some village in Mexico, if he needs a parent’s signature for