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watched as she lit the single candle on top of a white-frosted yellow cupcake. There was another cupcake on the counter with a similar candle, but Nan left that one alone.
    Nan began to sing, “Happy birthday to you,” and Lena told Hank, “I’ve got to go.”
    â€œHappy birthday!” he repeated, nearly in time with Nan.
    Lena ended the call. The phone began ringing almost immediately, and she turned it on then quickly off again as Nan finished the song.
    â€œThanks.” Lena blew out the candle, hoping to God Nan didn’t expect her to eat anything. Her stomach felt like she had swallowed a rock.
    â€œDid you make a wish?”
    â€œYeah,” Lena said, thinking it best not to tell her what.
    â€œI know you’re too nervous to eat it,” Nan said, peeling the paper away from the little round cake. She smiled, taking a bite. Sometimes Nan was so damn intuitive it made Lena uncomfortable; it was like they were an old married couple.
    Nan asked, “Is there anything I can do?”
    â€œNo, thanks,” Lena said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. The coffeemaker was one of the few things Lena kept in the shared parts of the house. Most of the time, she stayed confined to her room, reading or watching the small black-and-white television she had gotten free from the bank when she opened a new checking account.
    Lena had moved in with Nan out of dire necessity, but no matter what Nan did to try to make her feel comfortable here, Lena had a strong sense of not belonging. Nan was the perfect roommate, if you could tolerate that kind of perfection, but Lena had finally gotten to the place where she wanted her own house with her own things. She wanted a mirrorshe could look at in the morning without having the last two years thrown back in her face. She wanted Ethan out of her life. She wanted the rock in her gut to go away. For the first time in her life, she wanted her period.
    The phone rang again. Lena pressed the buttons in rapid succession, hanging up the call.
    Nan took another bite of cupcake, watching Lena over the mound of frosting. She chewed slowly, then swallowed. “It’s such a shame you have to wear makeup now. You’ve got great skin.”
    The phone rang again, and Lena clicked it off. “Thanks.”
    â€œYou know,” Nan said, sitting down at the kitchen table, “I don’t mind if Ethan stays over sometimes.” She indicated the house with a wave of her hand. “This is your place, too.”
    Lena tried to return the smile. “You have frosting on your lip.”
    Nan patted her mouth with a napkin. She would never use the back of her hand or lick it away. Nan Thomas was the only person Lena had ever met who actually kept napkins in a dispenser on the table. Lena was a neat person herself and God knows she liked to have things orderly, but it was disconcerting the way Nan couldn’t just put something in its place. She had to have a crocheted cover for it, preferably with tassels or a teddy bear.
    Nan finished the cupcake, using the napkin to clean crumbs off the table. She stared at Lena in the ensuing silence. The phone rang again.
    â€œSo,” Nan said. “Big day today. First day back.”
    Lena clicked the phone on, then off. “Yep.”
    â€œThink they’ll have some sort of party?”
    Lena snorted a laugh. Frank and Matt had both made it more than clear that Lena didn’t belong back on the force. Most days, Lena wasn’t sure she disagreed with them, but this morning when she had put on her holster and clipped her cuffs onto the back of her belt, Lena had felt like she was falling back into the natural pattern of her life.
    The phone rang, and Lena thumbed the keys again. She looked at Nan to gauge her reaction, but Nan was busy folding the paper from her cupcake into a tiny, neat square, as if this was just an ordinary moment in her ordinary life. If Nan Thomas ever decided to be a cop,