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an engagement ring to it. I looked up from the page and saw he was already kneeling in front of me and I didn’t even let him ask. I just threw myself at him and whispered “yes.”
    I unconsciously grew emotional in front of Rhys as he became aware that I was not comfortable sharing the memory playing in my mind. He appeared guilty, trying to gauge the situation and attempted to comfort me. “Are you okay?”
    “Yeah,” I nodded, unconvincingly. “I don’t know how to answer that one.”
    I became flustered, blinking back the tears when he put his hand on mine and said, “Don’t worry about it, you don’t have to.”
    “No, it’s just a complicated answer. Sorry,” I said and he again squeezed my hand with reassurance.
    “It’s quite all right.”
    He left it at that, but I could tell that I had intrigued him, that he was respecting my privacy, but interested in what could cause such heavy emotion. We waited for the bill in tense silence, regret in his eyes for asking and I knew he felt that we had just taken a few steps backwards in becoming close. For the remainder of the day we functioned, or didn’t, in that manner—him walking on eggshells, and me avoiding his eyes.
    I gave him materials to look over during the weekend and when he took them he stared at me. “Thank you.”
    He lingered for a moment, hands at his side as he silently requested reconciliation. I swore his lower lip pouted as he hugged me, a short one this time and he whispered, “I’ll see you Tuesday.”

CHAPTER FOUR

    M y walk home dragged to no end as I slowly processed the way I had acted in front of Rhys. I considered how ridiculous, unprofessional and awkward he must have found me, how confusing it must have been. Guilt and humiliation were battling inside my body - all the while his facial expression imprinted in my mind, haunting me. Once home, the only relief was that I was finally on summer break for four weeks. I bathed for over an hour, struggling to stay awake in the tub before I dried off and lay in bed. Surprisingly, I fell asleep quickly, likely because it was the end of the semester and I was emotionally drained after lunch.
    Being around Rhys was like riding a wild carnival ride, fun in the moment, but dizzying by the end. Overall I felt wonderful around him, but that strange sentiment filled me with shame that I had allowed him in. When I moved away, I swore I would keep to myself, and now I was forced to keep seeing someone I couldn’t resist; he was just too likable. I’d become comfortable around him over our lunches, but didn’t know how to function with how uneasy that relaxation felt, leaving me completely unwound. Just before I dozed off my phone vibrated with a text from him.

    Rhys: I’m sorry to bother you. I know I said I’d only message with questions, but I can’t stop thinking about lunch. I feel awful that I obviously struck a nerve, and I’m rather sorry. You don’t have to elaborate, but I’m a friend if you want to. Hope you have a better weekend.

    I read it through blurry eyes and fell asleep immediately after.
    I slept in till noon, a rare occurrence, only awaking when a neighbor slammed their door. Remembering his text, I looked around to find my phone on the carpet. Rereading it a couple of times, I realized that he probably assumed I was angry or ignoring him. If I answered him then, hours later, it would be weird. I also didn’t know what to say, so I left it alone, staying in bed for the entire day except to eat or use the bathroom.
    The following day was a different story. I awoke at 9:00 a.m. and made the decision to be productive. Taking advantage of my early start and break from work, I cleaned my desk, organized my closet, and decided to go for a run in Hyde Park. After the laziness from the day before, there was an itch in my legs to burn off some energy. I laced my sneakers tight, put on my headphones and walked toward the park with a new positivity that I would figure things