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would I? I’ll have my usual lunch please, Peggy, if you can stop harassing your best customer for a minute.’
He then passed the menu to Annie who was curious, and asked, ‘So what is your usual lunch?’
Rubbing his hands in anticipation, Jack replied, ‘I usually have a big plate of Peggy’s home-made vegetable soup, followed by double mince pie, thick cut chips, beans and beef gravy. It’s fantastic, the food of the gods. Puts a good thick lining in my stomach and lasts me all day.’
Annie nodded in understanding, before observing, ‘That explains it. The nasty smell I can’t get rid of in the office. And in your car. Oh, and did I mention that when I was cleaning up in the office, I found two dead mice huddled together right underneath your chair?’
‘Really?’ said Jack, unconcerned. ‘It was probably a suicide pact. Apparently it happens all the time in the animal kingdom.’
‘Well my theory is that the poor little things were unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. They probably took a direct hit from one of your farts and it stopped them dead in their tracks.’
Jack was genuinely embarrassed . ‘Okay, fair enough, I accept that now I have a co-worker, I maybe need to try and reduce my, ahem, carbon emissions. And I suppose I could get one of those little pine tree thingies for the car.’
Annie remained unconvinced and said, ‘Well maybe if you soaked it in gravy and ate it … that might help. Just a Diet Coke and a buttered roll with a bag of plain crisps for me please, Auntie Peg.’
‘Seriously, Jack, I’ve told you this before, at your age you really need to be thinking about making some changes to your lifestyle,’ added Peggy.
‘It’s funny you should say that. I read an article just last night on the dangers to health of heavy drinking and some of the statistics they quoted were quite horrific, really. You know, describing the self-inflicted damage we’re all doing to our bodies, supposedly in the name of enjoyment. Anyway it definitely struck a chord with me and I decided there and then, whoa boy, that’s it for me.’
Peggy looked surprised and pleased at the apparent change of heart from one of her regular customers. ‘Well good for you, Jack. Not before time, some might say.’
Jack paused for effect, before adding, ‘Yeah, I’m never reading any of that health scare bullshit ever again. Get me another pint, Peggy, when you have a minute.’
As Peggy shook her head and turned away to get Annie’s order, she paused. ‘By the way, there’s a guy been asking for you, Jack.’
‘Who is he?’
‘I don’t know, but he seems respectable enough. He’s through the back, over in the corner.’
Jack took his pint and walked to the rear of the pub, to join the stranger sitting in a corner booth.
Once Jack was out of earshot, Peggy took the opportunity to sit down beside her favourite niece. ‘I’m really pleased you got the job, Annie. Please try and stick with this one for a wee while at least. Jack’s a decent man, but he’s had a rough time of it recently what with the divorce and then losing his driving licence. It’ll be good for him not to be working on his ownall the time. He’s been drinking way too much.’
‘I think the job could be really interesting, I mean assuming we get on okay. But first impressions are alright, although he can be a bit weird. But for an old guy he’s quite funny with it.’
Peggy looked at Annie and then smiled. ‘So, he’s a bit weird, but funny with it. You’ve both got something in common then.’She then left to serve another customer as Jack returned to his seat.
‘So what kind of cases do you normally work on?’ asks Annie, between bites at her roll.
‘It’s a bit of a mixture. There’s some work on missing persons, other times I might be trying to trace money, or recover missing cars, or property of any kind. And it’s not just for private clients, there’s also occasional work from lawyers and insurance