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to drink himself into a stupor that would keep the pain at bay, but hadn’t he done enough of that?
    Neil knew it was time to make some changes in his life. It might be too late to fix things with Barbara, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t someday make her trust him enough to let him be a part of his child’s life. If he couldn’t do it for himself, then he had to do it for the baby and the person it would someday become.
     

Chapter Six
    Barbara paused on the landing, her back and arms aching from carrying the heavy grocery bags for nine blocks. It was a task she usually carried out without much notice, but today she felt every muscle scream in protest while walking home and struggling up the five flights of stairs to get to her floor. She didn’t know if it was the extra weight she’d put on during pregnancy, or if it was the lack of energy sparking her constant hunger, but she was exhausted from carrying out normal activities, and she worried it was only going to get worse.
    Pulling the door open, Barbara stepped through and went to the front door of the apartment. She wrestled her keys from her purse while balancing the overfull grocery bag against her knee, and sighed with relief when she opened the door and saw her mother come towards her to take the bags out of her hands.
    “You should have let me come with you,” said her mother. “You look worn out. Why don’t you sit down and let me fix you a cup of tea.”
    “That’d be great, mom,” said Barbara.
    She slipped out of her shoes and went to the couch, flopping down and propping her feet up on the coffee table. Despite sleeping nearly nine hours the night before, she felt worn out. It wasn’t even noon yet, and already she wanted to go back to sleep for a few hours.
    “Here you go,” said her mom, setting the steaming mug of herbal tea down on the table.
    “Thanks, momma,” said Barbara.
    “It’s only going to get harder you know,” said her mother. “Once the baby is born, you’ll be even more tired, and you’ll have even less time to do anything. You know I love you, but I’m not going to be a full time mother to your child, and you better not expect anything of the sort.”
    “What on earth are you talking about?” asked Barbara. “Why would I expect you to raise my child? Do you have that low an opinion of me?”
    “I just think if you’re going to have this baby — and I’m not saying you should change your mind about that so don’t go giving me that look — you might want to find a man to take care of you.” Lydia leaned back in her chair. “That’s all, baby.”
    “I don’t need a man to take care of me,” said Barbara. “Would I be happy to have a man in my life who supported me and loved me and the baby? Of course. But what I don’t need is to convince some guy to marry my pregnant ass just so I can have another paycheck coming into the house.”
    “That’s not what I meant,” said Lydia. “You’re blowing this out of proportion.”
    “What did you mean then?” asked Barbara. “Please explain it to me. You’ve been all up in my business ever since you found out I was pregnant, and none of the decisions I make are ever the right ones, so please do inform me from your font of infinite wisdom.”
    “I just think you could do better than that silly doctor who got you into this mess,” said Lydia. “There are plenty of men who’d love to be with a woman like you, and you don’t want to wait forever to get out there to find one.”
    “So what, I should hit the bar tonight to see if anyone wants to take me home?” spat Barbara. “Or is it alright if I start bringing guys back here? No one’s going to want me if I don’t put out a little, especially since I’m already pregnant.”
    “Don’t be absurd,” said Lydia. “Why can’t you be serious about this? Aren’t there any nice men at your work that you could maybe go on a nice normal date with?”
    Barbara let out a harsh little laugh. “Yeah, I