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me you will let me go,” as I pull
away from him.
       My body was shaking as I walked
back to my car, I don’t know if it was from my nerves or my withdrawals. I slid
into my car and buried my head into the steering wheel and let go the river of
tears I was holding.
       Then Evan was pounding on my
window screaming, “Gracie please give me a chance. Please!”   Not giving him a second glance I left and
hoped I had made the right choice. I could barely swallow my pill I was crying
so hard. I don’t know how I made it home, I am I supposed to work tonight.
Memories of the past two years continued to flood my brain and my heart.

Chapter Five

 
 
    Free for the moment….
         Oh God I still need to talk to
Jaxson and Jocelyn has left me five voice mails. After my dope kicked in, I
felt a little better and tried to eat but I am so sick to my stomach. I decided
to talk to Jojo cat, maybe hearing about her night would cheer me up. I also
wanted her take on the whole Jaxson situation.   I don’t think her cell got half a ring out before she was answering.
         “OMG what is going on? I need
details. How did you end up with Jaxson Hayes?” she squealed. I relayed our
encounter at Masquerade and then last nights, leaving out the mind blowing sex.
       “Wow” she said giggling, “I am
blown away by this, you man stealer,” she teased.
       “I wouldn’t go that far, it was
one night,” I replied calmly.
        “Well he is one of Nashville’s
sexiest men. Wish my life was this interesting,” she says in an odd tone.
        “No you don’t,” I mumbled low
enough for her to barely hear me. I could picture her sitting there with a Cheshire
grin twirling her wild red hair around her fingers.  
        “So tell me about Bradleeeey,”
I teased sounding his name out. Jocelyn is my best friend but I don’t want to
rehash all the ugliness of my day. As far as she knows, I haven’t seen Evan in
months.
        The mere mention of his name
was all it took, and she began to ramble about how amazing Bradley was and she
was glad she was rid of that old asshole Robert. She said would have someone
bring her by before work to pick up her car.
       Work, another thing to deal with
ugh, and I need to go shopping tomorrow, but all I want is to crawl in a hole.
You would think I would be happy. I let go of Evan but there was still a part
of me that loved him, even if he was an undeserving bastard.   He tore my heart out and swallowed it whole.
I don’t know if I will ever fully recover.
        I wanted to lie in my tub and
drown in my own sea of self pity but life goes on and I really do need to work
after the cash I blew on my speed today. On my way to work I had texts from
Jaxson.

 
        Jax: I want to see you,
tonight?

 
        Me: Sorry not tonight, I have
to work

 
        Jax: Maybe after?

 
       Me: Okay but I don’t get off
until two.

 
       Jax: I will have a car waiting
for you, I’m sure you have a lot of questions and there is so much I need to
tell you.

 
         Another big talk was the last
thing I wanted to have but I agreed. Work seemed to be dragging by and I kept
seeing images of Evan looking so broken swimming in my head, and then my
thoughts were drifting back to Jaxson and thoughts of him I could smile at.
       I was doing the right thing even
if Jaxson and I went nowhere, this was for me. Damn, it was so hard not to give
in to the demons in my head urging me to go into that back stall and send a
little escape from reality up my nose.
        I thought back to the first
time I met Evan, I had gotten a flat tire and he came to my rescue and now I
wonder if that had been a chance encounter or if he was responsible for my flat
that day. Then my thoughts turned to Jaxson and how sweet and real he was. And
just like that the memories of Evan were being washed away with my new memories
of Jaxson.
        After Evan hurt me so, I never
dreamed of meeting