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still lying in my lap.
    Alec grinned. "Excited about the presents Santa is going to bring you? You've been a bit naughty, so you might want to prepare yourself for some coal."
    I swatted at him. "You're the naughty one. Not me. Matter of fact, coal might not be enough for you. You deserve a spanking."
    "Now you're talking," he said, winking. "That's a gift that keeps on giving."
    I snorted loudly. Lily shifted in my lap and I covered my mouth. "You're such a perv. Back on topic. I'm excited to see what she thinks of all her presents. I can't remember the last time I anticipated Christmas morning so much. Is it always like this?"
    His flirtatious look turned to warmth as he beamed down at Lily's feet that were resting in his lap. "Each year gets better and better. When she was a baby she didn't get it, obviously. Last year was the first time she made a list for Santa, and the first time we got her to sit on his lap at the mall, but this year she totally gets it. I think that's what makes it so much fun. We get to live vicariously through her excitement." He reached over and laced his fingers through mine.
    I smiled at him. "She's going to be so excited," I agreed happily. This was definitely my happy place. The idea that we could have years and years of this same night made me all kinds of warm and fuzzy inside.
    The next morning it took a little work and a hot cup of coffee to generate the same level of excitement. Lily woke us at the crack of dawn by jumping up and down on the bed. Her shrieks of joy penetrated my slumber better than any alarm clock.
    I yawned widely. "Remind me why we were looking forward to this?"
    "No one told you that you needed to stay up late," Alec said, pulling me toward the living room.
    I rolled my eyes. "That's right. I should have just rolled over and ignored you."
    "Well, there is access from that side too."
    "You're such a perv," I said, slapping him on the arm.
    "Merry Christmas!" Lily yelled, holding her arms outstretched as we entered the room. She began tearing through her presents even before Alec could sit and help her sort through them. When she finally got to the American Girl doll, I thought she was going to take off like a rocket she was so excited.
    Hours later the living room looked like a cyclone had landed. There wasn't an inch of floor to be seen under the wrapping paper, empty boxes, and wrappers. Lily sat happily amongst the mess, putting her doll in the dress that matched the one she was wearing.
    Alec and I sat on the sofa, drinking coffee while she played. The moment seemed so domestic and so adult-like. Watching Lily sitting on the floor, my throat began to feel like it was being squeezed. My heart, which just moments ago had felt satisfied, started to beat uncomfortably. Lily was the most precious thing in Alec's life. Hell, she was quickly becoming important to me, but the sudden weight of responsibility felt scary. This wasn't the first time Lily had stayed over, but it was the first time it felt like we were a family unit. A unit I was ill prepared to handle. My parents were equipped in that category. Not me. I was lucky Severus was vocal when it came to reminding me when he needed to be fed or that his cat box needed cleaning out. A child was a completely different story. Could I handle the responsibility of a child's happiness and well-being? Was I really mature enough?

Chapter 5
     
     
     
    The week following Christmas was no less chaotic. I spent the time packing and making endless lists for Alec. Even though he said he would take care of Severus, I found myself leaving reminder notes on the fridge, the bathroom mirror, any place I knew he would see them. The plant he bought me officially bit the dust and ended up in the dumpster that morning, so that was one less thing he had to worry about. The sad thing was that tossing it only added to the insecurity I had been feeling the past week. If I couldn't even keep a plant alive, how could I help raise Alec's daughter?