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with
you?’
    ‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘It’s got nothing to do with me at all.’
    ‘You got that right,’ I said, and immediately I felt ridiculous again.
    He gave me a sort of nod and half a smile, then he strode off without
another backwards glance.
SIX AND A HALF HOURS AGO
    ‘You remind me of someone,’ Jay said
into my ear when we briefly stopping kissing.
    I rolled my eyes. ‘Oh yeah? Who?’
    ‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘I don’t know why I said that.’
    ‘No, go on. You’ve said it now. Tell me who.’
    ‘It was a long time ago.’
    I watched him expectantly and he gave in, as though I’d backed him into
a corner. But I had a feeling he’d wanted to say it all along.
    ‘It’s an ex-girlfriend,’ he said, ‘that’s why it was a stupid thing to
say.’
    ‘She was like me?’
    ‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘and no. I mean, she’s long gone. But you... you’re
right here.’
…
    I stayed in the bathroom a lot
longer than I needed to, not wanting to come out and wander down the corridor
again in case the creepy guy was still there. I splashed cold water on my face
and rinsed my mouth out, but I still felt exhausted and my stomach was churning.
I wished I could remember the night before more clearly. I could recall brief
snatches of the time I’d spent with Jay, but the details were fuzzy, and big
chunks of time seemed unaccounted for. I kept thinking about this
"diary" Jay supposedly had. Was I really supposed to believe Jay brought
women back here so regularly that he wrote down notes about them? That he documented them? And why? What on earth for? It just sounded sick.
    Finally, I accepted I couldn’t stay in the bathroom any longer, and I
resolved to go back to Jay’s room, get my dress and leave. Even if he was still
lying on it and I was forced to wake him up, I had no choice. I wanted out of
this weird house, and as soon as possible.
    I made my way quickly and quietly
back down the corridor. It was simple; I just needed my dress, my shoes and my
bag, then I could be out of there. I hesitated briefly before opening the door
to Jay’s room – what if he’d woken up? My resolve wavered, but I told myself firmly
that I needed to get on with it. I just had to deal with the situation in front
of me – no matter how unpleasant – and then I could go home and forget about
the whole thing. It was just a mistake. That was all. He’d been a silly mistake.
I’d been caught off guard because I was upset about my job, and at the time
being with him had made me feel better. I had nothing to be ashamed of, and I
didn’t need to stay and make awkward conversation with him. It had just been
sex. He’d understand that. In fact, he’d probably be glad I just wanted to
leave. Feeling a little more confident, I took hold of the door handle, and
turned it.
    Despite the pep talk I’d given
myself I was so relieved to find Jay still asleep that I sagged against the
wall for a second, taking deep gulps of air. Then I pulled myself together and
tiptoed round to his side of the bed, but it didn’t take long to establish that
he was still on top of my dress. I swore under my breath. I knew it had been a
lot to hope for that he’d roll away from it while I was in the bathroom, but I’d
hoped it none the less. Deciding to leave it until last, I found my shoes, and
glanced around for my bag. His room was immaculately tidy and it didn’t take
long to spot it. I picked it up, but immediately something seemed wrong. It was
far too light. Then, with a heavy, sick feeling I remembered.
SIX HOURS AGO
    ‘No,’ I said, as I looked around, ‘oh
no.’
    ‘What’s up?’ he asked.
    ‘My bag,’ I said, ‘I’ve lost my bag...’
    Jay frowned. ‘I don’t remember you having one.’
    ‘No?’ I said. ‘Oh God, that means I must’ve lost it ages ago.’
    I had another look around the table, around mine and Jay’s feet, but
there was nothing. Bending down to look at the floor made my head spin, and
everything seemed