his wishes, I wasnât going to tell anyone what happened to him.
âIâll text you later, okay?â he said, leaning in and giving me a kiss.
I didnât want him to go. That exchange between us was true bonding. I could feel the vulnerability, and the rawness in his heart. He was going through something awful trying to become a member of Pi Lambda Beta.
âWhat the heck am I thinking?â he said, quickly pulling away. âGirl, you gonna make my other eye get tore up,â he said as he looked over his shoulder.
âDid Butch do that?â I said, finally touching the tender black-and-blue bruise.
âOuch,â he said.
I gently rubbed his bruise. I wanted us to be far away from any distractions. I was just a girl, liking a boy, wishing we could have time without drama.
âUmm, that feels good, but I gotta go, Hayden. Iâll text you. Iâm okay. That kiss you gave me is gonna make me endure any little thing Butch wants to throw my way. But, I will tell you this.â
âWhat?â
âHe threw your relationship with him in my face and said he had you in every way, and, uh, it sorta made me push him, so he punched me. For some reason, all our talks last year, I just assumed ...â
âThat I was a virgin?â I interrupted, hoping he really knew me. âI am, and at this point with all this stupid pledging stuff you and Butch are doing, neither one of you is going to change that.â
I was angry hearing they were talking about me in some dumb hazing session. Though Creed thought it was honorable, I wanted to be left out of it. I tossed his shades to him and stormed off.
I didnât know who I was really mad at. But how could Butch lie like that and why did Creed think he needed to defend my honor? What, did he think it was true? I hadnât even started pledging and it hurt already. It seemed like maybe the whole pledging idea was a dumb one.
Â
âSo, the Betas are having a self-esteem forum and youâre not going?â Chandra said to me as she came into my room with Bridget and Myra.
I missed the friendship the four of us used to have, but now in our sophomore year, not even a full semester into it, we were so far apart. We never spent time together. We never talked about anything. To see the three of them come into my room because they thought something was wrong with me, as I lay across my bed, feeling completely perplexed, touched me.
âI canât believe sheâs not going,â Myra said.
âGirl, you know they gonna be looking for you because they know you want to pledge and put them Beta Gamma Pi letters on your jacket this spring. You know they want you to show up for some of their stuff, but if they want you, youâre not automatically blackballed because youâre not there. You could be studying for a major test or something. Relax if you want, girl,â Chandra said. âThatâs why Iâm not pledging nothing. A lot of the fraternities around here already got underground lines going. Boys falling asleep in class. They canât wear nothing but a white long sleeve shirt and khaki pants. You can tell the ones. Iâm not letting no female strip away my dignity.â
âThatâs just it though, yâall,â I said, finally sitting up as I stared up at my ceiling.
âItâs not supposed to be about any of that. Iâve been researching the history and all these organizations were founded back in the early nineteen hundreds. Thatâs when black folks didnât have many rights and they formed these organizations to come together, to make a difference in the community, to stand on Godâs word, to get a good education and uplift one another. All this bashing, all this, âYou better do what I say or hit the highwayâ mentality, just defeats the whole purpose.â
âWhat are you talking about, Hayden? You sound like you want to go pick up a picket sign and
Xara X. Piper;Xanakas Vaughn