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phone when Stephanie came in and stretched out across the foot of my bed.
    â€œThis is the weirdest Christmas ever. It’s like the normal parts of Christmas just kind of fade into the background because of what happened to Matt,” she said. “Mama and Barry are just sitting at the hospital. I feel so guilty.”
    â€œWhy do you feel guilty?”
    â€œWell, you promise you won’t tell anyone this, right?”
    â€œPromise.”
    â€œI wished something bad would happen to him,” she said, twisting a length of her dark hair around her finger. “And now something did.”
    So I’d been right. It made me feel kind of good to think that she wasn’t perfect.
    â€œYou don’t really think it was your fault,” I said. “He’d been drinking, right? It was his own fault.”
    â€œIn my head, I know that. But I still feel guilty. You’re not supposed to wish for bad things to happen to people!”
    â€œI seriously wish something bad would happen to that Carla girl who called me ‘animal,’” I said.
    Stephanie laid her head down and pulled her knees to her chin. “Well, that’s different. Matt’s my stepbrother. I mean, I’m supposed to love him. But he doesn’t love me.”
    I looked at Stephanie with her shiny, dark hair and wide brown eyes. “I’ve found that a lot of people don’t like me, and they don’t even know me. You can’t make everyone love you, Steph.”
    Stephanie looked at me and pressed her lips together. “I hadn’t really thought about that before, but I do want everyone to love me,” she said. “I didn’t know that was bad.”
    â€œBe like me. Don’t care!”
    â€œI can’t help caring. Besides, you do care!” Stephanie said accusingly, sitting up. “You pretend you don’t, but you do.”
    â€œDo not!”
    â€œDo!” She pointed at my phone. “You care about whether your dad loves you.”
    I cradled the phone next to my chest. “Okay, I care about some people, yes.”
    We were silent for a moment. Stephanie knew me better than I thought. Better even than I knew myself, maybe. I had come to depend on getting her opinion on so many things.
    At that moment, our doorbell rang.
    â€œWonder who that is, on Christmas Day,” Stephanie said.
    Norm answered, saying, “Well, hello!” Stephanie and I ran out to the upstairs landing to see who it was and looked down into our front hall. A group of dripping kids dressed in rain slickers stood at our door. Stephanie’s friend Colleen, with her pink cheeks and straight blonde hair, was one of them.
    â€œHi, Mr. Verra. Stephanie texted me and said she’d changed her plans and was staying here over Christmas, right?” Colleen asked. “We’re going caroling, and we were wondering if she could come with us.”
    â€œHey!” Stephanie said, racing down the stairs. “How’re you guys doing? You’re caroling? Daddy, can I go?”
    â€œIt’s raining!” Norm said.
    â€œSo? Even more need to bring good cheer,” said one of the boys. I looked at him more closely and saw the uncombed blond hair and the silver earring. That new guy, Noah, from my Spanish class!
    â€œPlease?” Colleen begged. “She’ll only be gone for acouple of hours. My dad is driving us to the different neighborhoods.”
    I stood at the top of the stairs, looking down. It was definitely Noah.
    â€œHey, and Diana can come too.” Stephanie glanced over her shoulder.
    I saw all of them as they looked up at me. I saw the fleeting looks of avoidance and the quick effort to mask the way they really felt.
    â€œSure, yeah,” said Colleen.
    â€œYeah,” said Noah.
    â€œNo, I don’t want to,” I said. I walked back to my room and shut my door. Norm must have then asked the kids to come inside and sing a song for him,