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torrent as she wept
and held him. Her hands stroked his hair soothingly as she felt his
shoulders shaking under her cheek. She said nothing as she held
him, rocking him in her arms, her eyes closed tightly as he spent
his grief on her at last. She looked into his eyes and he saw no
disgust there, only sadness and grief.
    “ You were afraid to tell me?
You thought me thinking you were with another woman was
preferable?”Catherine asked incredulously, her lips kissing the
lone tear upon his rugged cheek, knowing what it had cost him to
confess these ugly things to her. She reached up and touched both
his cheeks, her green eyes tearful as they met his. “I love you,
Nicholas. What happened to you when you were a child hardly makes
me love you any less. I know the reason for the nightmares now.
Don’t ever keep anything from me again. I can handle such things.
You have to trust me, my love. Oh, how you’ve suffered with
this!”She pressed against his chest, holding him tightly, feeling
his trembling ease. Nicholas said nothing and looked at her with a
look of gratitude. She knew he was too fragile to speak any more of
it. They sat there for a time upon the hill, enjoying the quiet of
the morning.
    “ There’s more I’m afraid to
say.” He stared over his brother-in-law’s lands with a pensive
frown.
    “ What is it?” she asked,
eyes wide seeing his face taut with rage. “You must tell me
all.”
    “ The men who did this to me
live. It was Lord Rudd and his cronies. I believe you met them all
at the Billingsley ball last year,” Nicholas told her in a low,
menacing voice. “I can’t be whole until I know such monsters can
never hurt another child, Catherine. I found out their names, where
they frequent. I’ve followed them many times. That’s where I went
those nights. I plan to kill them all.”
    Catherine’s eyes widened at his words.
She grabbed his hand and held it tightly, fear filling her at his
words. “What does it solve if you kill them?” she asked in a harsh
tone. “Does it change the past for you? Do you think Lilly dying by
the hangman’s noose took away any of my pain? It didn’t! The pain
will never go away!”
    “ I can’t live with this
knowing he’s out there,” Nicholas snarled, his handsome face
twisted into a grimace. “The thought of him doing these things
haunts me. I can’t sit back and do nothing.”
    “ Then expose them! Find
proof of their crimes and send them to prison. If you kill them,
you’re as much a monster as them,” Catherine told him, grabbing his
cheek and forcing him to look at her once more. “I know you can’t
forget, but killing them all won’t make it better. I know only too
well how unsatisfying revenge can be. I wept the day Lilly went to
the gallows. I hated her for what she did to me. Don’t you
see?”
    “ Gabriel agrees with me in
this, Catherine,” Nicholas informed her in a hoarse voice, seeing
the way her green eyes narrowed. “Rudd is a Duke. Do you think
he’ll go to court for his crimes? I went to him when I saw his name
on Clarice’s list. I told him all I knew of his crimes. Do you know
what he said? He laughed at me. He told me no one would ever
believe a piece of scum from White Chapel and he’s
right.”
    Catherine felt her anger rising as she
heard him, deflated to know he was correct. Lord Rudd was
untouchable, extremely wealthy, and very dangerous to all of them
now. He knew Nicholas had evidence against him. She felt fear
clutch at her heart. She knew too well what heartless nobles would
do to protect themselves.
    “ You can’t fight him,
Nicholas,” she warned. “He’s too powerful. When we return to London
we’ll close the house and go back to the island. I’ll not worry the
man will come after us now.”
    “ I’ll not run from him,
Catherine. I’ve run all my life from these things. I pretended all
never happened until I saw his name on that damned list. Do you
think running will make me feel better?” Nicholas