of those who recorded high closeness scores. Among the participants who rated
both
parents low in warmth and closeness, an amazing 100% had been diagnosed with a major disease in midlife.
People who feel loved live longer and enjoy better health .
Researchers from Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Cleveland, Ohio, gave questionnaires to 8,500 men who had no history of duodenal ulcers and then monitored them over a five-year period. The outcome was that 254 men developed ulcers, but astonishingly, the men who answered, “My wife does not love me,” in the questionnaire developed three times as many ulcers as the men whose wives loved them. In another five-year experiment, the researchers tracked 10,000 married men with no history of chest pain (angina). The men who answered “yes” to the question “Does your wife love you?” suffered significantly less angina, regardless of their other possible risk factors. They also found that the higher a man’s health risk category was, the more significant his wife’s love was to his enduring good health. Ongoingresearch now shows that emotions play a powerful role as a buffer against things that cause you stress and that lead to illness and disease.
So does this mean that if you had a bad relationship with one or both parents you are doomed to die of cancer, for example? Fortunately, no. Research has also shown that an intimate, loving relationship as an adult brings emotional safety and can offset those early effects of parental deprivation. If, however, people repeat the same relationship patterns they experienced as a child, they can become strong candidates for major illness.
Studies everywhere now show that married people live longer, with lower mortality rates for almost every disease, than single, separated, widowed, or divorced people. The chance of surviving more than five years after a diagnosis of cancer is greater for married people of all races, sexes, and cultures than it is for unmarried people.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die .
Early studies also show that married people experience better health than couples who choose to cohabit but not marry. This is because marriage carries with it more emotional security than cohabiting, especially for women, as it tells others that the partner is officially “off the market.” Marriage equals less stress and more feelings of security, which promotes an overall healthier immune system. Linda Waite, president of the Population Research Association of America, conducted a study and found that for both men and women, marriage lengthens life span. Married men live, on average, ten years longer than unmarried men, and married women live about four years longer than unmarried women. In summary, married people live longer and have fewer illnesses than unmarried people.
By 2021, one in five U.K. couples will be unmarried, preferring to cohabit .
The Seven Types of Love
For most people, love is a big mystery—especially for men. When a woman uses the term “love,” men have little idea what she actually means. She says to him, “I love you,” and in the next sentence she says, “I love sushi,” followed by “I love my dog,” and “I love shopping.” So now he’s left wondering where he rates against a California roll, clothes shopping, and a Labrador retriever.
“Of course I love you,” he protested. “I’m your husband—that’s my job.”
The problem is that most modern languages have only one word for a wide range of emotions called “love.” Ancient languages had many categories of love and a separate word to define each meaning. The ancient Persians had 78, the Greeks had 4, and there were 5 in Latin, but there’s only 1 in English.
Today, there are seven basic types of love:
Romantic love —physical attraction, sexual feelings, romance, and hormone activity
Pragmatic love —to love your