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better understand our male counterparts.
    The Mama/Ho theory holds that a man will either see you as his “mama” or his “ho.” The word
ho
is a derivative of the word
whore.
It is not a garden tool. A ho is any woman he is having sex with, any woman he wants to have sex with, or any woman he has had sex with.
    The antonym for ho is mama. A man will feel affectionate toward a woman who is really sweet and nice, much like the affection he has for his mother. Because she doesn’t present a challenge and she’s always there, he begins to take her for granted. This is when you hear men say, “She’s really nice, but there just wasn’t any chemistry.” Therefore:
    SAFE + BORING + MAMA =
NO SPARK
    &
    UNPREDICTABLE + NOT MONOTONOUS + HO = FIREWORKS
     
    Even though a man is turned on by the independent woman he can’t have, he’ll still try to get you to be like his mama. He’ll want you to cook, clean, and do his laundry.
    One woman I know nipped the issue of laundry in the very beginning. Early in her marriage, she threw a red sweatshirt in with all of her husband’s white cotton underwear. Then she turned the water on hot to seal the deal. The only underwear he had left was the pair he was wearing. No self-respecting, heterosexual male would ever be caught dead wearing
pink
underwear. On seeing the ruined garments, her husband threatened her with the very words she wanted to hear, “You will never, ever, ever do my laundry again!”
    What a nice girl should know is that even if you make every effort to be an exemplary housekeeper, he’ll still want a ho behind closed doors. The two are related. Why? Constant mothering will eventually turn a man off. Yes, they say that every man is looking for his mother. This is a nice theory, but it doesn’t mean you should run out and do his laundry or treat him as though you are his keeper. There are four things that make a man feel suffocated or mothered, that often turn him off, and that make him distance himself from you like a rebellious teenager. These are the major Mommy no-no’s:
    Do not appear to check up on him or ask him to check in with you.
Do not expect him (without asking first) to spend all his free time with you.
Do not ask him to account for the time that he isn’t with you.
Do not be overly doting, leaving him no room to come your way.
     
    Never give the appearance that you are closing in on him. For example, suppose he gets off the phone with his long-lost Auntie Mae. If you immediately start questioning him or you jump down his throat and demand to know who was on the phone, it has the same effect as throwing on an apron and assuming the role of mama. Like a teenager, he’ll rebel.
    There are many things women inadvertently say that sound very motherly: “Get some rest,” “Don’t stay out late,” “Call me when you get in,” or “Eat something before you go out.” You will make him feel
emasculated
. It’s no different than telling a two-year-old, “After naptime we’ll have a little cookie.”
    Asking a man to explain himself or check in with you is mothering. Maybe he ran a half-hour late coming home. Perhaps he was having a friend help him fix his lawnmower, or maybe he was having a beer under the hood of his friend’s car. The very second he thinks he has to explain himself to you, he’ll feel as though he is losing his freedom. Then he’ll make up a story to conceal something that didn’t need to be concealed, just to protect his “territory” or his “turf.” And he’ll feel cornered.
    ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #14
    If you smother him, he’ll go into defense mode and look for an escape route to protect his freedom.
     
    Don’t make him feel as though he has to ask permission for the day-to-day things he wants to do. It’s smothering to him when you watch him too closely. Don’t give him the feeling he’s
under a microscope
. He’ll feel controlled and will instantly want to get away.
    When he’s shaving and he’s late for