buttoning the top
button before pulling the zipper up.
“Will I see you tomorrow?”
“Jesus,” I whisper under my breath. “I already told you that
I have things going on. I really have to go. Have Becky give you a ride home
tonight or don’t. I really don’t care.”
Not bothering to say goodbye to anyone, I walk out to my car
and put the keys in the ignition. I hadn’t noticed until now how drunk I
actually am. My house is just a few miles down the road. I’ve made this drive a
hundred times. I can do it in my sleep. Nothing is stopping me from putting my
car into drive and making my way back down one of several dirt roads that lead
to my house. It’s all second nature to me.
With all four of my windows rolled down in attempt to let
the cool air sober me up, I reach over to grab my iPod from my glove
compartment. I drop it to the floor by accident.
“Dammit,” I say out loud. It is just a fingertip away. I
lean down taking my eyes off the road for what could have only been a half a
second. I feel the car jolt against something hard. A loud thump hits the top
of the car then rolls off the back of the hood. I sit up quickly feeling
completely sober in a matter of seconds.
I hit a deer. Jesus, that scared the shit out of me .
I don’t really know what to do. I pull over to the side of the road swinging
the driver’s side door open and step out looking for the deer, but there isn’t
one.
I see the long brown hair first. Something is familiar about
the softness of it. It is sticking out of a sweatshirt covering the face of who
I just hit making it impossible to be absolutely sure if what I thought was the
truth.
“Holy shit! Holy shit!” I whisper out in between short
breaths. I feel numb as if what is happening is actually happening to someone
else and I am just an innocent bystander. Things like this don’t happen to
people like me. It’s not supposed to happen at all.
I walk over to her to make sure she’s still alive. My only
thoughts are on my future. About how badly I have fucked up and there is no
going back on this. I step in close enough to get a better look at who it is
laying in the middle of the rode. I already know deep down who is laying in the
middle of the road. I stop dead in my tracks. Her beautiful wavy brown hair is
spread out around her face. Her eyes are shut. I can still imagine the blue
clearness of them.
“Kennedy,” I say falling to my knees beside her. I think I
am going to get sick as I look at the huge gash across her hairline. A trickle
of blood is making its way to her eyebrow. There are bruises forming underneath
her flawless ivory skin from the impact of the car.
What did I do?
I can’t breathe.
I can’t fucking breathe.
Chapter Seven
-Kennedy-
My head is in a major fog. For a split second, a single
second, I almost forget what had happened. My mind clears shortly after coming
to conscious and everything plays back to me like a movie. I know I was hit by
a car. That much is obvious by the engine running somewhere nearby. There is a
pain rushing through my body. I think I am dying. It feels like I could be
dying. I try to sit up, but a hand reaches out touching my shoulder pleading me
not to move. I open my eyes and there he is kneeling beside me.
“Graham…what,” I try to speak. My voice is barely audible.
He interrupts my silence gently brushing my hair away from my face. It is the
gentlest of touches.
“Just lay still. I’m going to call 911,” he reaches in his
pocket for his phone. As he dials his phone, his hands shake uncontrollably.
My body feels like fire is running through every vein. Maybe
I’m in shock, maybe I am delusional. The thoughts I am having point me straight
in the vicinity of crazy. It is obvious that Graham hit me with his car. What
isn’t obvious was why I was about to stop him from dialing his phone for help.
“Put your phone away and listen to me for a second,” I
demand reaching up