me. I mentally slid Eliah over to the friend side of the life abacus, since throwing up on a drive home was something you would only do with a friend.
Once we got to my apartment, Eliah hung up my jacket; then he headed over to the manager's office and returned with my mail. I leaned back on the couch, fighting the swirling in my stomach that ran a counter rhythm to the one in my head.
"Okay, Eliah. It's time. Get out of here," I said, gesturing toward the door.
He put his hand on my knee and it felt heavy, smothering. "Are you sure?"
I managed a weak smile. "I need to sleep."
He was reluctant, but stood up and headed for the door. "Okay. I'll be back tomorrow and we'll get the rental. Do you think you'll be up to driving by then?"
I had no idea. "Sure."
After he left, I called Abuela. The phone rang endlessly. What next? I thought of calling the police but wasn't sure what to say. Were they missing? Or just not home yet?
I looked up a few more phone numbers on the computer when I heard a knock at the door. Beverly from the management office, with her impossibly long nails and spiky auburn hair, stood on the landing holding a half-dozen envelopes and sales circulars.
"Hey, Kati. Sorry, girl, Connie left this whole stack in the wrong box. That guy said you needed to rest, but I'm off on vacation next week, remember? I'm going to Vegas with that singles group I tried to get you to join?"
"Riiight..." I said, trying to keep up, my head starting to throb all over again.
"Anyway," she continued, "there is no way Connie will remember to bring it by. Shoot, she can't remember her keys half the time. Good luck with that while I'm gone. Do you remember we had to call the locksmith for her car two weeks ago? Again. He's going to think we're hitting on him. Well, he is a little cute, but on the heavy side. I like them thinner. You know how they fatten up when you marry them. You want to give yourself some room to work with."
She laughed heartily and I felt light headed for a second. I blinked hard, trying to focus.
"Anyway, I thought I'd bring these by before I went home." She leaned in for a better look at my swollen face. "Geez, girl. You look awful. You might want to try some of this new eye shadow and cover up I've got."
She started to reach in her purse, but I snatched the stack of mail from her.
"No, it's okay. I have to lay around anyway," I said. Beverly's natural skin hadn't seen daylight since the late 90s. I preferred to let my pores breathe, even if bruised.
"Okay. Well, if you need anything, call me. But remember, I'm gone next week. Guess it is a good thing you didn't sign up for the trip, right? Okay, whatever you do, don't lose your keys!"
"Got it," I said, waving goodbye.
I closed the door with relief, then headed to my desk, sinking heavily into the chair. I began culling through the stack. A padded envelope was near the top, nestled in a collection of grocery store coupon pages. The writing on the label was precise and familiar, yet I couldn't quite place it. The postmark was dated a week ago and there was no return address. Inside was a single cassette tape and a note.
Trust no one. Listen to this when you are alone and in a safe place. They are watching you and me. I love you, Katarina.
Always,
Mom.
Antonia
Antonia
The past is not a package one can lay away. ~Emily Dickinson
Chapter 8
"Katarina. Let's see. Today is April 11 th , 2012. By the time you hear this, I'll have gone, again. It's funny to think of it that way as if I will be leaving on a journey to some exotic country. But for me, I haven't gone anywhere over the last ten years. I just woke up thinking it's February 9 th , 2000. Even now I keep thinking the wreck happened moments ago. Then I look in the mirror I can see that's not true.
"Of course, I can look at you and it hits me how much time has passed. You've become a woman in a quantum leap. Somehow I don't think this is what they mean when they say your