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it’s nothing personal, just something she’s been thinking about in a casual way. I’m calm. I say, “Why don’twe take some time to think about it?” You know, don’t rush into anything.
    JESS     Yeah, right.
    HARRY     Next day she says she’s thought about it, and she wants a trial separation. She just wants to
try
it, she says. But we can still date, she says, like this is supposed to cushion the blow. I mean, I got married so I could stop dating, so I don’t see where “we can still date” is a big incentive, since the last thing you want to do is date your wife, who’s supposed to love you, which is what I’m saying to her when it occurs to me that maybe she doesn’t, so I say to her, “Don’t you love me anymore?” and you know what she says? “I don’t know if I’ve ever loved you.”
    A wave comes through the crowd, and Harry and Jess stand and wave their hands
.
    JESS     Ooh, that’s harsh.
    They sit down
.
    JESS     ( CONT’D )    You don’t bounce back from that right away.
    HARRY     Thanks, Jess.
    JESS     No, I’m a writer, I know dialogue, and that’s particularly harsh.
    HARRY     Then she tells me that someone in her office is going to South America, and she can sublet his apartment. I can’t believe this. And the doorbell rings. “I can sublet his apartment.” The words are still hanging in the air, you know, like in a balloon connected to her mouth.
    JESS     Like in a cartoon.
    HARRY     Right. So I’m going to the door, and there aremoving men there. Now I start to get suspicious. I say, “Helen, when did you call these movers?” And she doesn’t say anything, so I ask the movers, “When did this woman book you for this gig?” and they’re just standing there, three huge guys, one of them wearing a T-shirt that says, “Don’t fuck with Mister Zero.” So I said, “Helen, when did you make this arrangement?” She says, “A week ago.” I said, “You’ve known for a week, and you didn’t tell me?” And she says, “I didn’t want to ruin your birthday.”
    A second wave comes through and Harry and Jess stand and wave their hands
.
    JESS     You’re saying Mister Zero knew you were getting a divorce a week before you did?
    HARRY     Mister Zero knew.
    JESS     I can’t believe this.
    HARRY     I haven’t told you the bad part yet.
    JESS     What could be worse than Mister Zero knowing?
    HARRY     It’s all a lie. She’s in love with somebody else, some tax attorney. She moved in with him.
    JESS     How did you find out?
    HARRY     I followed her. I stood outside the building.
    JESS     So humiliating.
    HARRY     Tell me about it.
(beat)
And you know, I knew. I knew the whole time that even though we were happy, it was just an illusion and one day she would kick the shit out of me.
    JESS     Marriages don’t break up on account of infidelity—it’s just a symptom that something else is wrong.
    HARRY     Really? Well, that symptom is fucking my wife.
    Another wave comes through, and they stand up. They sit down
.
    CUT TO :
    INT. SHAKESPEARE & CO. BOOKSTORE—DAY

Sally and Marie standing in the bookstore in a section called Personal Relationships. A table full of books. Marie is looking at something like
Smart Women, Foolish Choices.
Sally is looking at something like
Safe Sex in Dangerous Times.
    MARIE     So I just happened to see his American Express bill.
    SALLY     What do you mean, you just happened to see it?
    MARIE     Well, he was shaving, and there it was in his