around seventy degrees today, so I opted for my favorite jeans even though they had a few faded spots.
I even put on a tiny bit of makeup. Not as much as if I were going to work, but enough to accentuate my eyes. Ryan told me once he thought my eyes were beautiful. Not that I was using that information at all.
After yesterday, when he saw me in my rattiest jeans and no makeup, I was determined to show him I could still clean up well. Maybe even make him notice me a little. Which was ridiculous, but it didn’t change anything.
And still, I wanted to look good for him.
My heart hammered in my chest when I answered the door. God, it was going to be one hundred shades of obvious that I got all made up for him. I wanted to run back into the bathroom and wash my face and pull my hair up, but it was too late.
With a deep breath, I pulled open the door.
“Hi.”
He stood there smiling and I was lost in his eyes.
“Can I come in?”
Shit. I swung the door wide. “Yes. Come in.”
Ryan stepped inside and I let the door close. The room immediately felt smaller. My skin tingled with awareness when he turned and his gaze lazily roamed down, then back up. “You look good. Maybe a little dressed up to change a starter . . .” He gave me that lopsided grin again and my cheeks turned even redder. Right. Car repairs.
“I can change . . .”
“No,” he said quickly. Now it was his turn to duck his head. “I mean, you’ll probably just be supervising and making sure Noah doesn’t get every inch of himself covered in grease, anyway.”
“He’ll be out in a sec. He’s getting dressed. All by himself,” I emphasized as I rolled my eyes affectionately. “Something he’s been very adamant about lately, now that he’s almost four. Practically a man, you know.”
Ryan chuckled and then we stood in awkward silence until I lifted an eyebrow and looked at the four to-go cups in his hand. “Are you expecting more help?”
“Oh, right. I didn’t know what you took in your coffee . . .” His eyebrows dipped down. “Hell, I’m not even sure if you still drink coffee, but there is a black, a chai latte—whatever that is—a mocha, and a cappuccino. I also grabbed a raisin bagel, a couple of glazed doughnuts, and a cheese Danish.”
“You brought us breakfast?” When was the last time anyone had done that? I thought back. Never. No one had ever brought me breakfast, much less several choices because he wasn’t sure what I liked.
It was amazingly thoughtful.
And totally unexpected.
And totally something Ryan would do.
I held his gaze a few seconds longer than I needed to. He smelled good, like minty soap and shampoo. He’d worn a dark red T-shirt and jeans and boots like yesterday and could have posed for some hunk-of-the-month calendar I’m sure.
His baseball cap was already on backward and I knew his eyes would be a tantalizingly rich mix of brown and green because I had never forgotten them.
“Yeah. Thought you guys might be hungry?” Ryan said, asking more than telling. “If you already ate, I’ll just set it on the counter for later.”
I stared at the holder. There was over twenty dollars’ worth of coffee, not to mention the baked goods, and he did it because he didn’t know what I liked? I was at a loss. I’d been with Jason for a year at Brown and he never once brought me coffee.
The little things, the small gestures: that’s what got me.
I remembered how good Ryan was at those. Like he didn’t even have to think about it. Biology notes when I had the flu. A note in my locker when I got a B on a test. Flowers on our first official date.
And after that night we had sex for the first time . . . I still had the necklace he gave me, the one with the crescent moon that said LOVE on it, tucked inside my jewelry box.
“So . . .” He looked so uncomfortable standing there that I jolted out of my nostalgic thoughts and took the coffee and bag from him.
“For the record, I love