Read What Love Has Lost for Free Online Page B

night.
    Nathan walks down the steps. "Our first date..."
    "What?" I ask him, acting astonished.
    "On our first date, we stared at the stars and shared our first kiss..." Nate reminds me.
    My eyes averts from the dark, black sky to Nathan's glistening emerald eyes. "Yeah, our first date..." I trail, looking down at the ground and chewing onto my lower lip.
    Unfortunately, I hear Nathan clears his throat. "We probably should head back inside."
    I nod my head, vigorously, as I continue to follow Nathan inside the apartment. As we reached my bedroom, Nathan quietly shuts the door and lets out a sigh. I walk towards my side of the king size bed, unraveling the covers.
    "Uh, what was that all about back there?" Nathan asks, and I stop whatever I am doing.
    "Rhiannon is just being herself. That girl can surprise everyone. She probably woke up the neighbors because of her shrills." I jokes and continue laughing, messing with my bangs.
    Nathan chuckles and shakes his head, as his hair swoops from one direction to another. "I wasn't talking about that." Nathan clarifies. I raise an eyebrow.
    "Then, what are you talking about?" I emphasize, while I strut my way towards Nathan. He places his hands in his pajama pockets. God, I love how he does that. Oh my god, what am I saying? Snap out of it, Inna!
    "I'm talking about the way you were looking at me when I came out of your room."
    Oh my god, he noticed!
    "What?" I ask dumbfound. "I don't understand what you're talking about." I scoff as I look down at the floor, looking at my horrible toes. Whoever painted my toenails has done a horrible fucking job!
    "Oh, you're really going to play that card?" Nathan grins while he keeps his hands in his pockets. Walking towards me, I start feeling that same heat intensifying. What the fuck is going on? Nathan finally stops, grabs my hand, and gently places it on his six-pack abs.
    "I knew you were staring at these." Nathan whispers in my ear. My heart rate increases and the noise get louder. I hope he doesn't hear my heart. That can be a sign for the weak. In that case, I cannot fall in love with him, either!
    "Nathan, stop this..." I breathe. He lets go of my hand as I let it drop onto my side.
    He lets out a sympathetic look. I hate doing this. I hate rejection. I hate being the one getting hurt in the end. I hate all madness that was created between us. I hate seeing him when I'm in pain. I hate repeating memories, which I enjoy and then the memories that saddens me the most. I hate all of this!
    "Inn, I want to know..."
    "No, stop it!" I project, fighting the tears that will flow out of my brown eyes.
    Nathan doesn't say a word. So, I continue. "I don't to complicate things, Nate. I just want us to be friends and never speak about us as a couple ever again! Do we have a negotiation?"
    Nathan opens his mouth, and then he closes it. He nods as an agreement and continues to walk towards the other side of the bed. I let out a long sigh, not looking at Nathan's melancholy expression.
    What the fuck have I done?
     
    ♠♣♥♦
     
    June 02, 2008
     
    "C'mon, Inn, just jump in!" Nathan encourages as he is in the deep end of the pool. I hate the cold. I hate cold weather, and the cold water. The sunrays hit my sensitive tan skin, and my feet touches the freezing water.
    "What are you afraid of? It's just water!" Nathan continues.
    "You know, you're not making me want to jump and swim with you." I yell, sticking my tongue at him.
    "What? I want you to swim with me! Besides, you do not know what you're missing!" Nathan lies on his back, basking the moment of me being chicken, and him, being an egotistic jerk.
    "Ugh, you're so frustrating!" I complain, crossing my arms around my chest.
    Nathan dives into the water as I can barely see him. "Nate? Nate, where are you?" My eyes continue to scan for him, but to my luck, I failed. "Nate, this isn't funny, c'mon." I whine.
    I let out a frustrated groan and stick my foot into the water. Somehow, I feel a hand,