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pulled up to the pump.
 
    “What’s wrong now?” said Meow Solo.
 
    “That sign says Borg Blvd.”
 
    “So?”
 
    “Borg Blvd. is the most dangerous street in the universe.”
 
    “Whatevsers,” said Geordi Laforge, “I ain’t afraid of no Borgs!”
 
    “Pardon me for contradicting you Geordi but only a fool would choose to not regard the Borg with fear!” said Moriarty, “They are a foul race of white creatures covered in random pieces of electronic parts and they travel around in hot rod cubes forcing people to become just like them.”
 
    “PREPaRE TO BE aSSIMILaTED,” said a loud robot voice.
 
    “What the fuck?” said Wesley Crusher.
 
    Wesley looked out the back window of the SHO to see a Borg scout cube pulled up behind them, headlights glaring like a thousand suns.
 
    “Turn your fucking lights off now!” said Wesley.
 
    Meow Solo said, “Don’t be an asshole Wesley, you’ll get us killed!”
 
    “Turn those fucking lights off now!” said Wesley.
 
    Wesley turned to Geordi.
 
    “Yo toss me a football man.”
 
    “Sure,” said Geordi as he tossed Wesley a football.
 
    “I would not advise this course of action sir,” said Moriarty.
 
    “Fuck you professor,” said Wesley, “you are like Sherlock Holmes’s archenemy and you are acting like a pussy.”
 
    “My form of villainy is more cerebral dear Wesley,” said Moriarty.
 
    Wesley pegged the football at the Borg cube, smashing the left headlight.
 
    “Damn it Wesley,” said Meow Solo, “I thought I was the badboy around here!”
 
    The Borg cube began to glow yellow and a small staircase lowered from it.
 
    Six Borg men stepped out.
 
    “Prepare to be assimilated,” said the Borg in unison, “resistance is futile.”
 
    “Whatever!” said Wesley as he fired his phaser.
 
    The phaser has no effect on the Borg as they advance upon Wesley Crusher and his crew.
 
    The last thing Wesley remembered before passing out was a red laser beam shooting out of the Borg’s ocular implants and the sound of Meow Solo’s meowy scream!

 
    When Wesley woke up he was strapped down to a surgical table in the Borg cube.
 
    “Well hello Wesley, it’s me!”
 
    Wesley looked up at the pale cybernetical creature that was once his friend Geordi Laforge.
 
    “What did they do to you Geordi?”
 
    “I’m Borgy now, Borgy Laborg. I have been assimilated. We all share one mind and soon you will join us Wesley!”
 
    “No way,” Wesley spit out the razor hidden beneath his tongue and used it to cut the ropes binding his left wrist to the table. The razor sliced through them freeing his hands then Wesley used the razor to slit open Geordi’s throat.
 
    Wesley was soon drenched in his former friend’s blood.
 
    Wesley then used the razor to free Meow Solo from a nearby table.
 
    “Wesley we must free the others!”
 
    “I’m gonna kill all the stupid Borg,” said Wesley as he pulled his phaser out, “set phasers to kill!”
 
    “No way man,” said Meow Solo as he pulled two laser axes from the straps that crossed the back of his brown leather vest.
 
    “Take a laser axe! Borg are resistant to phaser fire and melee weapons are your only hope.”
 
    “Whatever,” said Wesley, “just give me the axe.”

 
    “Sir,” we received this communiquéh from Lt. Worf today,” said Tigron.
 
    Kitteh Commander, a fluffy white tiger took the communiqué.
 
    “Who is Lt. Worf?”
 
    “The onleh surviveh of the USS Entehprise D,” said Tigron, “It was blown up by Ensign Wesleh Crusher, boy genius and former goodeh two shoes.”
 
    “What would a goodeh two shoes be doing blowing up a federation ship?” said Kitteh.
 
    “Apparentleh he’s a badboy now,” said Tigron.
 
    “So the Federation needs the help of the Intergalactic Kittehs, eh?” said Kitteh Commander, “this Wesleh Crusher chap must be pretteh dangerous.”
 
    “I would have to assume that any man who defeats Jean-Luc Picard must