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he
trying to date me or sell me insurance?”
    “Don’t blame me. I didn’t know him before
tonight. He’s Kyle’s cousin and I thought he’d be like Kyle.” Her
eyes took on a dreamy look at the mention of Kyle. “Forgive me,
Susan? Because I’ve already forgiven myself.”
    She pushed the door open and we left the
ladies room. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the nearest busboy
took one look at my face and ran after me with a fire extinguisher.
Patty can forgive herself quicker than anyone I’ve ever known and
forgiving herself means the subject is closed.
    I’d have been okay if, the second I sat down, Herman
hadn’t mentioned that my blouse still looked pretty bad. I have
often wondered why some people are rudely compelled to point out
obvious flaws . Hey, you sure have gained weight since I saw you
last. Wow, you have an enormous zit on the end of your nose. Did
you know your perm looks like Ramen Noodles?
    As soon as he spoke, I picked up my glass and
took a gulp of wine. When he said, “Women don’t dress for
practicality, though,” I drained the rest of the contents so
quickly I had to gasp for breath when I put the glass down.
    “I’ll have to remember that in the future,” I
said, slurring the words ever so slightly.
    “How’s the new job coming along, Herm?” Kyle
shot Patty a grin and put his arm around her, pulling her
close.
    I smiled benignly. How sweet. Kyle was trying
to get Herman off the subject of my blouse. Before I knew it, I’d
be home and Herman-free for the rest of my life.
    “Going good until I found out the manager is
a woman.” Herman pasted on the expression of someone who had
suffered long and hard and was finally ready to out his inner
chauvinist.
    I came out of zone-out as quickly as I’d gone in.
“And what’s wrong with that?” I’d have popped him with the wine
list if it weren’t terribly poor manners to pop one’s blind date in
public.
    “It’s a known fact that most businesses that
fail are run by women.”
    Patty snickered and nudged Kyle with her
elbow. He slowly shook his head and assumed a confused
expression.
    When Mama instilled the manners in me, she
mentioned something about how a lady shouldn’t drink too much,
especially when she’s on a date. I’d already broken that rule. And
now I was about to break another, the rule about how I shouldn’t
brag or lie.
    “I suppose, then, I should prepare myself for
failure. My friend Veronica—a successful real estate broker—has
offered me a business partnership and, of course, I accepted on the
spot. We’re going to conduct ghost tours of the old Blackthorn
House, a mansion she owns.” The Blackthorn House wasn’t exactly a
mansion. Veronica had once pointed it out to me, and I remembered
it as a run down brick structure that, even in its finest hour,
couldn’t qualify as more than a big house.
    Patty put her glass down with a clunk and
squealed, “So that’s it. I knew you were keeping a secret. My
intuition never fails.”
    “Ghost tours?” Herman and Kyle exchanged
man-bonding glances.
    I’d only meant to shut Herman up, but now I
was compelled to defend myself. “I’ll be dressing up in period
costume to lead tourists through the mansion.” I’d made up the part
about the costume, but who knew? “The first owner was reputed to a
pirate and he sometimes kept captives chained in the carriage house
or the attic. Wherever. Tourists will pay big money to hear there’s
a bloodstain on the upstairs sitting room wall that won’t wash off.
And learn how unearthly sounding screams have been heard coming
from the attic, especially when there’s a full moon.”
    After I made up the costume part, the rest of
the lies came easily. And they served their purpose. Herman and
Kyle had been struck silent and I didn’t need to have what Patty
would call “psychic intuition” to know that Herman was glad he
wouldn’t have to go out with me again.
    “That’s fantastic, Susan.” Patty glowed,