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my back with his weight. “Don’t leave me, Ella.”
    Damon’s gaze is so intense that it takes my breath away. I shut my eyes and try to turn away. The lump in my throat physically hurts as I try to swallow back my emotions, but Damon cups my face and brings it back to face him.
    “Look at me, beauty.” I shake my head, squeezing my eyes as tightly as I can. “Please, baby. Look at me.” My eyes snap open and I gasp when I feel his lips skim mine in the softest of caresses. “There’s my beauty.” He smiles softly at me. His hand holds my head in place as he stares deeply into my eyes.
    Tears fill my eyes. I close them again, not being able to look at the love in his eyes. Not able to believe it. I’m unlovable. It’s all just a game. I try to purge my spinning thoughts but a picture of Damon kissing Leona flits behind my closed eyelids.
    Anger begins to simmer inside me as I recall what Damon did to me, to us. Damon’s lips nuzzle my neck, placing open-mouthed kisses where my shoulder meets my neck. My breath catches from his touch, fire blazing in my blood.
    Damon is everything my body wants, craves. It’s not enough. I can’t let my body take control. I can’t let Damon win again. I won’t allow myself to be hurt by him again. My heart aches just thinking about being without Damon, but it also hurts to be with him.
    I’m confused.
    I’m hurting.
    I need him.
    These feelings sound familiar. Lydia felt like this. Damon made her like this. Damon made me like this. The need to protect myself and my jellybean is so much more than the hatred I feel. I’m not sure it even is hatred. I still want him. My body aches for his touch.
    I want to bask in his love. I want to live my life with Damon, but I don’t know if I can.
    My mind is screaming that he’s playing games and I need to get revenge. My heart is hurting and needs to protect us, needs to prevent more pain, and is screaming for me to run. To leave and not look back. My body craves his touch. Needs the connection we have when our bodies entwine.
    I’m torn in three different directions.
    It’s too much to deal with. I’m hurt, I’m confused, and my hormones are all over the place. “Damon.” My voice cracks as tears fall from my eyes, leaking down my temples and into my hair. “I can’t... I can’t do this.” I whisper. I avert my eyes, not able to look at the pain I see flash in his eyes.
    “Ella.” That one word holds more pain than I thought possible. I look back at Damon and see his eyes glistening with tears. My heart skips a beat. My heart literally hurts to see Damon look so devastated, vulnerable, and open.
    I sniffle before I hide my face in his neck. His hands hold my head to him, clinging to me like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he doesn’t keep his hold on me. The feelings this man evokes in me in me are hard to bear.
    “I’m sorry, beauty. So fucking sorry.” He says brokenly. “Leona...” I tense as soon as her name slips past his lips. Damon sighs at my reaction. “Ella, she’s just a friend. Nothing more, I promise.”
    He just doesn’t get it. I’m going to have to spell it out for him. “Damon, she’s your ex.” Damon cuts me off before I get to finish.
    “Tom’s your ex.”
    “Tom’s not in love with me.” I snap. My hormones are so erratic that I feel like I’m giving myself whiplash. Jealousy burns through me. I hate that he can make me jealous. I hate that I don’t know if it’s all a game. I wish I could read Damon better.
    “Are you sure?”
    “Yes, it was never like that for me and Tom. He’s just a friend and if you’ve forgotten, he’s the one who broke things off with me because of you .” This is getting us nowhere. He just doesn’t understand. “Damon, Tom doesn’t want me like that.”
    “Do you want him?” he sounds so unsure that I can’t help but try to reassure him.
    “No.” A smirk pills at his lips.
    “As long as he knows he can’t have what’s mine.” My brow