when I risked a glance at her face, I could tell she was just fishing. I seldom let obnoxious guests bother me, and on most days, I’d be on to something else, not letting previous events keep me down.
So I knew my behavior was out of character and worrying, but I couldn’t find the words to reassure her.
I shook my head again, not able to muster enough strength to do much else. Suddenly feeling weaker, I went to the couch and sat next to her. My emotions, the fear and confusion of the day before, still made it impossible for me to speak. I hoped that maybe sitting next to her would make her feel better.
I could feel her eyes on me, but I just leaned back and kept my eyes sealed shut, exhaustion I hadn’t really been aware of just moments ago sapping all of my strength.
“You look like hell, Milan,” she said.
The incredulous tone of her voice managed to wring a smile from me, and I pulled my eyes open and turned to her, watched as her frown deepened, going from quizzical to concerned in two blinks of my eyes. I simultaneously found her concern heartwarming and her expression hilarious, so hilarious that I couldn’t contain myself.
The smile that split my face got bigger, and bigger, and soon, laughter began to bubble out of my throat.
But it wasn’t a laugh of humor, nor one that I recognized as myself. This laugh was unhinged, and in it, I heard the stress and insanity of the night before. That sound was more revealing than words would have been.
“Milan?” Tiffany said. She scooted closer, grabbed my hands, squeezing with surprising strength that one wouldn’t expect from her delicate fingers.
“Tiffany,” I said, before I fell into a puddle of laughter yet again.
“What happened? What’s wrong?” she said.
I looked over at her, but I could barely make her out through the tears that clouded my eyes.
“If…” I said, and then I inhaled, gasped around the laugh that wouldn’t stop. “If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me, Tiff,” I said.
Tiffany twisted her face into a confused expression, her eyes narrowed, her nose lifted like she smelled something foul.
I laughed still, and began to hiccup, and soon the hiccup turned to a sob.
All at once, the strength left my body and I collapsed down, laughing, crying, doing both as Tiffany watched me and held me.
It took me a while, I don’t know how long, to gather myself, and the whole time Tiffany sat with me, arm around me, holding me.
“So,” she said, looking down at me where I sprawled on her lap. “You calm now?”
I swept at my face and then sat up.
“As calm as I will be,” I said.
“So what happened?”
I wasn’t surprised by her question. One of the few things I’d managed to do was watch the news. There had been only the barest mention of the shooting, an offhand aside at the end of the newscast about an “incident” at a local church. Nothing more, though I had expected wall-to-wall coverage.
It was strange, really strange, that the shooting hadn’t gotten more attention, but these past days had all been strange, so I shouldn’t have been surprised by this one other thing.
“Milan…” Tiffany said, her wavering voice breaking the spell of my thoughts.
I glanced up, locked eyes with her, and in her gaze, I could see how much she cared for me. Seeing her reminded me I had friends, a life, and the tears that shimmered at the corners of her eyes made me realize how relieved I was I had survived last night. The day before had been almost like a dream, something that felt like it had happened to someone else. Looking at Tiffany now brought home how real it had been.
“There was a shooting,” I said flatly.
“Here?” she said, looking around the room.
“No, at the wedding.”
“What! The one I made you cover? Are you okay?” Tiffany shrieked, her pretty brown eyes bugged out of her face.
I nodded, and her expression fell, and she looked stark, the blood draining from her face, leaving her looking