Read Wanting You for Free Online Page B

looked nothing like the Vann I remembered. Five years ago, she was the epitome of a book nerd, even had the glasses to go with it. But I saw something different in her. Everyone at school used to tease the shit out of her for reading all the time and never partying like the rest of us, but not me.
    No one knew, but Vann was my fucking rock. She was there to catch me, at least for a little while.
     
    “I don’t know how this happened,” I whispered, lying on Vann’s lap. The lake was quiet—only the sounds of the crickets chirping breaking the silence. The reflection of the moon in the water was blurry from my tears. I couldn’t make them stop. There was only one person on this planet that I would allow to see them. Vann.
    “I’m so sorry, Deke.” Vann said those words to me hundreds of times over the past two months. Each time, I sucked them in. She stroked my hair over and over. I never told her that I absolutely loved it.
    Vann was the only one who didn’t blame me. She didn’t think it was my fault. My parents did, the town did, hell, even I did … everyone thought it was my fault, but Vann. She was always trying to convince me that it was an accident. But that didn’t help. Who gave a shit if even the cops thought it was an accident. It just meant that I wasn’t going to jail. I should be there—forever—for what I did. It’d be better than going through the hell of my everyday life now.
    It was almost two months since it happened. My mom refused to talk to me—what mom would do that? My dad only talked to me when he had to, but I’d take what I could get. My friends were still around, but no one said a word to me about it.
    Except for Vann.
    “I should have been watching more closely. If I would have, I could have stopped it.”
    “No, you couldn’t have,” Vann argued.
    “I could have at least tried,” I whispered.
    “Jaxson wouldn’t want you doing this to yourself.” Vann’s voice was shaky. She was always nervous when she said his name, like she was afraid I might blow up at her, which unfortunately I had done several times.
    “He’s not here to worry about it,” I clipped.
    “I know. But he loved you.”
    “That’s why I should have saved him, or it should have been me.” I’d never forget him yelling my name as the current took him under. I swam as fast as I could, but the undercurrent swept him away. I couldn’t find him, anywhere. I swam until my arms and legs wouldn’t work another second. The rescue squad found him four miles downstream.
    I knew we shouldn’t have been hanging out in the creek. It had rained the day before and the water was moving fast, but we were stupid. And it cost Jaxson his life.
     
    I looked up at the sound of a car horn as Z pulled into the drive. I needed to get my shit together.
    “What’s up?” Z asked, breaking the silence in the truck.
    “Nothing. Take me home,” I said, rolling the window down. I needed air.
    “Grump. What crawled up your ass?” Z snarled.
    “Mindy probably.”
    “I didn’t even see you leave with her.”
    I shrugged. “I don’t remember anything.”
    “You remember kissing Vann?” Z asked, glancing over at me.
    I met his eyes. “You think I’d fucking forget that?”
    “So you gonna spill it?” Z was fishing. He knew only what I told him about Vann, since he didn’t move here ‘til senior year, and I wanted to keep it that way.
    “Shut the fuck up and mind your damn business,” I growled, not wanting to talk about it.
    “Damn, who pissed in your cheerios?” I glowered at him. Sometimes Z didn’t know when the hell to shut up. “All I can say is Vann is fucking hot, and if you don’t go for it, I am.”
    “Are you out of your fucking mind?” I snarled. What the fuck was he thinking?
    “No, but you are if you don’t hit that shit. She’s unbelievable,” Z mused as he drove.
    “Stay the fuck away from her. Hear me!” I barked at him.
    “Whoa, bud. Don’t pop a fucking vein there. Is she