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broke through as he said, “I think this is where you tell me your name, you know, just in case I forgot it.”
    “Oh, right, sorry.”
    Dang his eyes were amazing. One of his eyebrows cocked, giving him a slightly devilish look. He was waiting for me to speak.
    “Janie,” I said, barely resisting the urge to smack my forehead. “I didn’t mean to disturb anyone. I’ll go.”
    I walked a wide berth around him, knowing if I got too close, I might not be able to keep myself from reaching out to touch him. I was almost at the door when he spoke again.
    “I’ve never heard anyone play that thing,” he said. I glanced over my shoulder at him. He smiled again and the tingles covering my body intensified. “It was nice to hear. See you around, Janie.”
    By the time I hit the exit, I was at a dead run. I didn’t wait for Justin. Being home, safe in my room, safe from the emotions tumbling out of control inside of me was the only thing I could think about. I was out of breath by the time I reached the house. I slowed as I noticed a gray and white cat lying curled on the hood of Tim’s car, watching my frantic rush up the steps. I couldn’t face Tim right now. As soon as he saw me, he’d know something was wrong. Tim was someone you didn’t want worrying. He tended to go a little over board once his parental instincts kicked in.
    Edging the door open just enough to squeeze through, I stopped it just before it hit the point of its telltale squeak then pressed it closed behind me, keeping the knob turned to avoid the click of the lock. The carpet muffled my footsteps and I made it to my room unnoticed. Once inside, I sprawled across the bed, staring at the ceiling. The popcorn texture glittered faintly from the sunlight streaming through the window, a starry night in the middle of the day.
    I groaned and flipped over onto my stomach. Idiot . The events of the afternoon ran through my mind like a movie. I squeezed my eyes closed tightly, wishing that I could block the images of how I’d acted like a complete fool. Mentally replaying the events, I envisioned the ways I wish I’d acted. I would have been cool and flirty. I’d have been just like Rachel.
    But that wasn’t me. I was forever the girl who ran away from everything she wanted, too scared to even try. I hated that part of me. What did it say about me if I couldn’t stand the person I was? What did it say that my own parents didn’t love me?
    How pathetic was I? How pathetic was it that I moped about being pathetic? It was a vicious cycle that I hated more with every passing moment.
    Tim loved me. He’d stayed. He’d done more than that. He’d adopted me and tried to put the shattered pieces of my life together. Justin did too, even if he did have a wicked vindictive streak. I couldn’t really complain about that since I had a feeling he may have learned it from me.
    I always thought alone meant I’d never experience pain. Anytime we were injured, Tim would bandage us up and say that pain is good, because it reminds you that you’re alive. Suddenly I wanted to feel that pain, to know that my life wasn’t over just because my dad was a deadbeat, my mom had been a complete failure, or that I’d had all hope and happiness beaten out of me. I didn’t have to be the silent girl that roamed through life that thought I was hidden and safe, but really meant I was alone.
    Yeah, life’s a bitch, but who said I had to take it lying down?
     

     
     
    Chapter 5
     
    I wasn’t sure where to start, but I wasn’t going to go on the way I had been. Hiding from life wasn’t working.
    “Janie? Can I come in?” Justin called from out in the hall. Once he would have just barged in but ever since the day he caught me in the middle of changing, he’d taken to yelling through the door.
    “Yeah.”
    He opened it half way and poked his head inside, trying to gauge my mood. “You okay? When you didn’t show at the car, I spent a half hour looking for you. You know